Evening Stars
by creative barcode
Summary: AU 15 year old Bella Swan is walking to a friend's house when she is attacked. Remembering nothing, Bella is left to figure out what she has become and what she will do now that she is, clearly, not human.. DISCONTINUED.
1. Prologue

_Ok, so maybe this isn't my first Fan Fiction… I've done other ones… But I've discovered that I do the serious/not funny ones better. This is my new solo account (I share my other one with my friend). Thank You for actually reading this._

_OK, I knoooooow this plot is __**very, very over used**__, but I really want to do it right. Put my little flare into it and make it mine. Give the characters time to develop and grow on their own will. I will use your input, so if you have a suggestion, please feel free to make it. Oh, yes… And yes, some of my characters will be OOC, you have been warned_

_--Smurf_

**Preface**

_Phoenix, Arizona, December 2002(Bella is 15)_

I sighed again and pulled my jacket closer to myself. It might have been Phoenix, but it was _still_ cold in the evening. Which was exactly what time of day it was. About 7:30 to be precise. I was supposed to be walking to my friend Annie's house. We were working on our mitosis lab which was worth 5 per cent of out grade. We agreed to meet up tonight so that we didn't completely fail.

So I here I was walking on my way there. Well, actually my mother was _supposed_ to be driving me. She forgot, again, and made plans with her new boyfriend, Phil. I love my mother and all, but would it kill her to at least _once_ think about prior commitments before agreeing to everything? And doing things in a completely random, non priority order at that?

So here I was, walking, alone, on the streets in Phoenix at night. Is it just me, or does this not sound safe? I could get _raped_. But, no. Phil's 'big game' was tonight, mom just "couldn't miss it". She told me to take the car. I reminded her I was only 15. Gosh, I just wish that she was a little more responsible.

My mom is weird. And difficult. My mother is weird and difficult. I still love her though, I really do, it's just difficult being the parent while you're still not even legally allowed to drive. My mother is irresponsible and usually leaves me to clean up her messes. Sometimes I really wish that I just lived with my father Charlie. Things would be a lot simpler and less complicated—

Something moved.

Wait, no…

Something moved towards **me**.

I froze. It was a guy…. This night was just getting better and better, wasn't it? This guy practically had the word 'pedophile" stamped onto his forehead. I found it disturbing that he looked me over like a piece of meat or something, yet still managing to efficiently inject a leer into his (most likely well practiced) look.

"Hey there, baby… You wanna come and have some fun with good Ol' Felix here? You know you want to… Felix is just so hungry and alone…" He started to walk towards me, shooting his arm out and snagging my jacket in his hand.

"No… Let go…" I whimpered, trying to sound confident while I clutched at my arm and tried to pull away. Damn, this guy was strong… He laughed, and just pulled me closer to me, wrapping his arms around me and leaning down towards my ear.

"You really think you could get away from me, little one?" He whispered menacingly to me, starting to stroke my hair and… sniffing it…?

It was then that I noticed something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong. Oh, way more wrong than the situation was already. This 'Felix' was all wrong… There was just something not right about him…

It hit me when I was finally close enough to see his eyes….. It was then that I started to scream.

They were red. His eyes were blood red.

And he was cold, ice cold, and as hard and smooth as my newly-installed granite counter top.

As the horror started to fill in me, I started to thrash harder against him. He smiled at my obvious distress, and I started to scream louder. His teeth were…. Indescribable…

"Scream all you want, my darling… No one will hear you…" He breathed in my ear, leaning down to inhale along my neck. I started shuddering.

"W—What do you want with me?" I stuttered, and he chuckled.

"Ahh….Well, small Isabella, I want something very precious to you… In fact, one of the most precious things you have…" He breathed. I shivered, and tears trickled out of my eyes.

"W—What is that?" I stumbled out.

"Your blood…" He whispered, and bit down painfully into my neck. The feeling was… Odd at first. To feel someone forcefully drawn blood from you and then suck it out is an odd experience… You can feel the blood rushing out… You can feel yourself growing weaker, yet you cannot do anything to stop it.

It was then that I knew I was going to die. And I accepted that, strangley enough. Kind of sadly, the only reason I was sad to die was the affect I knew this would have on other people…

My mom would be completely alone… No one to take care of her and to make sure she didn't fall asleep in the bathtub by accident again…

Charlie would feel guilty that he never got to truly know me…

All my responsibilities and requirements would be abandoned… Who would lead the kids at the library in story time on Saturdays now? How would Annie complete the lab on her own?

I pushed aside the guilt, I just floated on the light, happy feeling of blissful nothing-ness.

I then felt it. That is what jolted me back to reality and what was going on.

I felt a burning sensation creep up my head, and I started to cream again, even louder. Felix chuckled, and bit down harder. Everything was slowly starting to click into place as black seeped into my world.

As I felt blessed unconsciousness take over, one word flashed into my mind…

…_Vampire_…

_Hmm…… I think this may be half-way decent… Go me…. _

_Xxoo _

_--Smurf_


	2. Chapter 1: Loneliness

_Yay! People don't reject it! Oh, yes, I forgot; I no own. NO OWN._

**Chapter 1: Loneliness**

_Somewhere in Arizona, 2002 (Bella is still 15)_

It was bright. Very, very bright… Argh! Stupid sun… I tried to move my arm up to cover my eyes…. _Ouchie_. It felt like all of my muscles had been clenched then I went on a 50 mile run… Not good… I laid, defeated, closer to the ground until the pain lessened somewhat. Wait…? What was I doing outside? Panicking, I started to sit up as fast as I could (which wasn't that fast). I looked around and saw a wooded area… Why was I in the woods?

I looked down at myself and saw a trickle of dried up blood on my shirt form the direction of…my neck? Nothing was making sense… The wind blew gently, and the leaves overhead rustled, drawing my attention to my arm. I screamed. Loud. Hmm… There seemed to be something wrong with my voice… But I couldn't concentrate on that right now. We had bigger issues… Issues like I WAS SPARKLING!!!!!!

What the heck?!?! Why did it look like there were thousands of tiny diamonds trapped in my skin?! Ok. Calm down, just try and remember what happened… Ok. I remember sun… And wind… And sparkling skin… That's it. I have the feeling this isn't good… I looked around to try and spot any type of clue about who I was… I didn't even know my name, how sad is that? Aha! I spotted a wallet and snatched it up.

The wallet was all but destroyed as I clutched it in my hand. What was going on?!?! It looked like someone had taken it, turned it into Play-Doh, and then squashed it in their palm. Oh, goodie! It was slightly regaining its shape! I carefully retracted the remains of a card from one of the slots and placed it on the ground to arrange into an ID card.

It was fairly easy to piece together… 'Isabella Swan, sophomore'… I guess that was my name, and my age. Good. One step closer to discovering the years I had misplaced. The wind changed direction, and I smelt something _disgusting_. Ew. It smelled like a cross between skunk, rotten eggs and a dieing cat. It was the worse thing I could remember smelling. It was so bad; I got down on all fours and started to dry heave.

I was still dry heaving (the smell was getting worse) when a middle aged guy walked into my field of view. He was short, fat and balding. And he was in a _hideous_ bright orange hiking outfit.

"Excuse me, miss…" He trailed off, looking at me in awe and… was that _lust_!??!! THAT IS DISGUSTING!!! HIS GUY COULD BE MY FATHER FOR ALL I KNOW!! I shuddered.

"Do you know where we are?" I managed to ask him around my dry heaves. My question came out in a musical voice, startling myself.

"Umm…. Umm…. Ph—Phoenix…" He managed to stutter out.

"Thank you," I said with a smile, and started to walk away, just _trying_ to get away from the repulsive smell. Suddenly, something hit me. The smell… It was coming from _him_. What the heck?! How long has this guy been out here? Obviously not long enough to be hygienic….

I started to run after I was out of his sight. I closed my eyes and ran. It was very relaxing… The feel of the wind on my face… The slightly warm air pulling my hair back… I sighed and opened my eyes, and screamed. I had just passed a sign welcoming me to Idaho. What the heck was going on?!

I really started freaking out then. I didn't really know who I was, I couldn't recall anything about myself… Heck, I didn't even know my birthday! And I sure as hell, didn't know what was going on with me. I could run at super speeds, I could crush things with the slightest pressure, and I _sparkled_. There was something that screamed "NOT HUMAN!!!" about those qualities. So, at least I had that possibility ruled out. I accepted it. I, Isabella Swan, was not human. Not like I could remember being human, anyway…

I stopped abruptly, just inhaling the air. That smell… It was so sweet… So sublime… So…delicious… It smelt like a cheeseburger to a starving kid. It smelt like coffee to a caffeine addict… It was the most welcoming and beautiful sent I ever had the pleasure to discover.

I couldn't stop myself, and ran as fast as I could towards it. Not even thinking, not breathing, not looking, I reached it. It was a giant wolf, and I attacked quickly, delving into the wondrous taste and smell. I sighed contentedly as I bit down into its soft, salty neck. I didn't think about anything but the delicious taste in front of me and sucked greedily. I sighed contently once the animal was drained, and stepped back.

I looked down at it, and froze. What was wrong with me?! Attacking a wild animal and ingesting its blood!?! I was disgusted, and tried to spit the (still delicious) blood back out. Suddenly, a thought hit me.

Everything. I could remember everything about that night… My science lab… Phil's game… My mother not being able to drive me… The Felix guy… My last thoughts as I passed out and gave away into the pain… Vampire.

I laughed nervously to myself. That was silly, vampires aren't _real_! And besides, even if I was, what about the myths… The whole 'can't go out in sunlight' deal and the constant lust for human blood thing… I felt nothing… Well, maybe my throat felt a little parched and was only fine until I completely attacked that wolf, but that was completely beside the point!

I didn't know what to do. I was stuck, alone and empty. So I did the first thing that popped into my confused head. I ran. I closed my eyes and ran as fast as I could.

I had no clue what to do, I was only… 15 I think the card said… and utterly confused. I continued running, but instead opened my eyes and looked around as I ran. It was beautiful, yet terrifying at the same time.

I stayed like this for a few months… The feeling of loneliness creeping in closer to me at every passing hour. My routine was pretty simple; hunt, run, sit. It was boring, and lonely. I wondered if I would ever meet someone of my kind, or if I was just doomed to live this life of non-existence…

The only thing that contented me was the stars. The stars were stable. They always came out at night, and they always shone brightly. The stars saved me, more than I could even comprehend at the time. I don't know how I survived. How I managed to hold on.

It took me 6 months, but I finally found someone. I was in Alaska, when I saw them.

_I was happy to see 2 reviews on this! YAY 2!! I like getting like 2 reviews… cause when you get like 50, although they are falttering and nice, you feel pressured and force yourself to write… I write my small stories cause I want to, and they're WAAAAY better. YAY!! I'm so happy!! Oh, send me questions if you don't get anything. And don't worry, this is BellaxEdward, so he WILL show up… I just don't want to rush into it, ya know? I'll try and get new chapters up every day or every other day… Things are busy-busy, cause I'm in IB, and our MAJOR PP are due in like 3 weeks…. So, I try. _

_Xxoo _

_Smurf_


	3. Chapter 2: Others

_Yes, yes I know… This is a day late. BAD SMURF smacks back of wrist bad!!! Sorry………….. And you all should be happy! I should be doing my homework right now…._

_**AAAAH!!!!!!!!!! I NEED HELP!!!! Kate and Eleazar have special talents too…. Problem; I have no clue what they are!!!!! Can people PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give me ideas?!?!?! It would be greatly appreciated….. **_

_Chapter 2: Others_

_Denali National Park, Alaska, June 2003(Bella is 15)_

It was a cloudy June afternoon when I met her.

I finally met _someone. _

I met someone I could be with and not worry about them smelling hideous, or me crushing their hand.

I met another of my kind, you could say.

That was one of the best days of my life.

I was wandering in Alaska and decided to go hunting in Denali National Park (they had really good game there). I had always wanted to go to Alaska. I mean. It's so nice and rustic. It really allows you to get in touch with nature, it's really great. I decided to go hunting when I smelt something strange.

The smell was… Familiar. Like the smell of your house after you've been away for a while. It smelled sweet, and it was laced with the delicious smell of fresh blood. Almost like that first wolf I hunted, I was drawn to it. So I started to run towards it

I came across her hunting.

This…_vampire _was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. **(Try and remember that I only have limited info about the Denali coven and their appearances… Facts like Tanya has strawberry blonde hair and their geographical origins to loosely go on, people…)** She was tall. Not like that was too much of a feat due to my measly 5'2" height. Her hair was blonde… Yet… It was hard to describe. And her eyes. They were the most warmest shade of topaz I had ever seen. I just stood there gapping, unsure if this beautiful vampire was a figment of my companion-deprived imagination or if she was real. She looked over at me curiously, then looked at my eyes and smiled warmly.

"Who are you?" The mysterious vampire asked me, curiosity lacing her tone. "Did Carlisle send you? No… He would have called us…" I wasn't listening to her. I was just standing in shock that this person was _real, _and I was finally not alone.

With out thinking of how I could potentially scare her off, I ran over. Honestly, I really couldn't help myself, I was just so happy, so I ran over and hugged her. She was startled at first, obviously she would. This strange person she had never seen in her life had just ran over and started to crush her in happiness. But after a few seconds, she started to hug me back, and I realised that I was sobbing. Well, dry sobbing, I guess…

"Sh…Shh… It's ok…" This blessed woman was saying to me, in a very maternal manor. I just couldn't stop sobbing. I was just so happy and relieved that I had finally found someone. That I was no longer alone.

After about 5 minutes of me sobbing hysterically, I finally started to quiet down.

"I—I'm –s-sorry…" I chocked out. "It's just… I've been so alone…I've never seen anyone yet… And I was just _so alone…_" I finally managed to choke out.

The woman patted my back, gave me a final hug, and pulled away from me.

"Oh, you poor dear! How long have you been alone?" She asked me, concern lacing her tone.

"I—I don't know? Maybe 6 months or so… I don't know what happened…. I just woke up in a forest and I've been alone ever since…" I started sobbing again, "I'm just so happy that I've finally found someone… That this isn't just some figment of my imagination…"

"Oh, dear… This is a problem…" She looked as if she was about to ask me something, then thought better about it. She pulled me into a one armed hug, and started to walk somewhere. "Now, let's go back to my home, you can meet everyone else, and then we can start to ask questions… Ok?" I nodded my head, then yelped in suprise.

"There are others?!?!" I asked excitedly. She laughed.

"Yes, there are more of us…" Her tone changed, "You poor, poor thing… Alone for all those months… Not knowing anything…or anyone… There, there, everything will be alright now…"

We had finally reached her home. It was a beautiful cabin style mansion. Honestly, the thing was huge. I would guess it to be about 20 rooms. At the least. I realised that I was gapping when the vampire laughed.

"Yes, it is quite pretty, isn't it? We had Esme, an old friend, do it! She did a wonderful job!" The vampire pulled me inside, and quietly called out some names. Almost immediately after she called out, 4 more impossibly beautiful people, _vampires,_ were standing before me. I'm sure by this point my eyes were as wide as saucers.

"Kate… Who is this?" One female with the most beautiful strawberry blonde hair asked the vampire who I had met in the clearing, Kate.

"This… This is…" Kate gave a confused look, "Well, I might have forgotten her name, but well, I've decided that she will stay with us! If, that's alright with you?" Kate finished looking at me. I was so happy! I got to stay with people! I wasn't alone anymore!

"I can really stay?!?" I asked excitedly.

"Yes… You may stay…" The strawberry blonde said, "But, if it is not rude, may I ask who you are? How did you get here?"

"Maybe we should have a seat in the living room…" Kate said, pulling me into the direction of, what I assumed was, the living room. Once everyone took a seat, I answered the vampire's question.

"I am Isabella… Bella… And to answer your other question… I don't know… I woke up in the woods one day, and here I am. I wasn't even sure if there were others like us until I met…Kate, hunting today…" I started to sob, "Please don't make me leave! I'm so lonely… I've never met someone else!!" I cried, then realised something, "Well… Other than that man once I woke up…" I added as an after thought.

"Wait!" The man said, "You've encountered a human and you _did not _kill him?! Why, this is extraordinary! You're only a newborn and you have incredible self control! How did you not drink from him?!"

"Drink from him? Like his _blood_?! EW!!" I shrieked, giving a disgusted look, "That man smelled _horrible_!!! How could I drink from him when there was a delicious wolf just a little while away!?!?"

"Wait… So you mean, you are not tempted to drink from humans?" The other vampire with black hair, who had not yet spoken, asked. "This is very interesting… Carlisle would love to meet you…" She mused to herself.

"Oh!" The blonde vampire, who wasn't Kate, exclaimed, "How rude of us! You are not even properly introduced! I am Tanya," She pointed to herself, "This is Eleazar," She pointed to the man, "That is Irina," She pointed to a quiet brown haired vampire on her left, "And that is Carmen," She finished pointing to the dark haired vampire sitting a few seats away with Eleazar.

"We also do not drink from humans… Which is why our eyes are topaz as well…" Irina added.

"Wait, my eyes are topaz…?" I asked.

"Oh, you poor thing! You haven't even seen yourself! You haven't even taken a shower!" Tanya exclaimed, "And you probably haven't even changed your clothes! Don't worry, sweetie, we will take care of everything… We should finished this talk after you get all cleaned up… Oh, and we shall need to take you shopping! Oh, we can invite Alice down!" Tanya excitedly explained to Irina. Irina smiled widely.

"Carlisle should come too…" Carmen added, "He would love to meet Isabella… With her being able to resist human blood and all… Well, with humans smelling repulsive to her, he will find her quite fascinating…" Carmen finished with a smile.

"Yes!" Irina clapped her hands together, "All the Cullens can come! Including Edward…" Irina winked to Tanya, who smiled wickedly.

It was weird, a good weird. Being with all of these vampires. Their family-like banter back and forth. It made me feel like I would never fit in… I pushed aside these thoughts and tried to pay attention to the conversation at hand.

It was over. Crap… I hope I hadn't missed anything important…

Tanya and Irina grabbed my hands and smiled at me.

"Come on, silly! We need to get you cleaned up!" Tanya said.

"Yes, and we will need to go through my closet to find something for you to wear… I'm sure I have something small enough…" Irina smiled to me, she was the closest to my height, but was still a good 3 inches taller than me.

I smiled, maybe I had finally found my place.

_YAY!!! Go me. I redeemed myself with an awesome over 1,500 words!! Ok, next chapter; the Cullens!!!_

Did you hear that they officially cast Bella yesterday for the _Twilight_ movie? Yeah, Kristen Stewart. I approve, and I am very against this movie. At least she wasn't Emily Browning…. Ugh… The thought as her being Bella makes me shudder….

Xxoo

_SMURF_


	4. Chapter 3: The Cullens

OMC. :O!!!!!!! I'm sitting all nice and happy at my computer…. And I'm actually getting reviews:O!! AND FROM MY FAVOURITE AUTHORS TOO!!!!!!!! (coughr0b0ticvampirecough) wow. THIS IS SO COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! EE!!!!!!!!! Ok. Happy rant over. On to magnificent non-shunned story.

Ps, this is bad…. I should be researching fascism right now… civics presentation… or editing my Macbeth essay…. Bad smurf…

Chapter 3: Meeting the Cullens

_Denali, Alaska, June 2003, (Bella is still 15)_

I had been happily living with Kate and everyone for a week. We had made routines, and I was finally starting to feel comfortable with everyone. Yay, social skills!

"Bella… May you please pass the book on Mayan Hieroglyphics?" I was currently sitting in the library with Eleazar. It turns out, I like reading. It was nice to finally start finding out my interests…

I continued reading and absent-mindedly passed Eleazar the book he was looking for, not taking my eyes off the page. I was wearing Irina's rolled up comfy sweats. It was one of the only outfits of hers that fit me. But, horror!, I was going shopping with them; quote, "As soon as Alice gets here! She will just _love_ playing Barbie with someone new!" Wonderful. I cannot wait.

I happily hummed a song under my breath while continuing my book. It was really quite interesting… It was talking about the _Sampson_ and how it could have saved the _Titanic_, but thought that the _Titanic_ was a police boat; causing them to go in the opposite direction (they were housing illegal items). It was an intriguing book. I was really into it. But, alas, all good things come to an end. Tanya started calling up the stairs.

"Eleazar! Bella! Come down here! The Cullens are here!!" She sounded really excited. Honestly. She sounded like an 8-year-old who had just learned the clown was arriving for their birthday… I sighed, put down my book, and walked out into the hall, Eleazar following closely behind me.

I smelt them before I saw them. They still smelled familiar, but different.

I rounded the corner and found 7 vampires standing in the foyer talking to the rest of my family.

They were, as expected, all inhumanly beautiful.

One more so than the rest. She was statue-esque, blonde and her features had a delicacy I would only wish my own had. Another was short and pixie-like. She had warmth that made me immediately like her. The last female looked very motherly. She looked very silent film-era. I liked it.

The males were tall. I mean, really tall. All of them were at least a foot taller than me… not that it was much of a feat to d so... Two were blonde and wise looking, one slightly taller than the other. Another was a brunette and looked like he belonged in the WWF, a.k.a he looked scary.

The last, looked kinda moody. **(AHA, I loooove describing Edward like this… ahah… Poor little emo boy… he's all alone… ok, that was mean, but still) **He had bronze coloured hair, and looked sullen. He reminded me of a little kid on the playground who needed a friend.

I made that my goal.

To make this strange boy laugh.

And I had never met him.

Thanks a lot subconscious……

"Bella!" Kate smiled once she spotted me, "I would like you to meet the Cullens!" She turned to them, her arm open as if she was a Barker's Beauty, displaying the next item up for bid.

"Isabella," Carmen said, she was the only one who called me Isabella. She said it was a beautiful name and I shouldn't shorten it, "This is Carlisle and Esme," She pointed to the shorter of the blonde males and the beautiful movie star-esque woman who gave me a warm smile. I smiled back shyly, "This is Rosalie and Emmett," The WWF guy gave me a wide toothy grin, and the blonde haired female gave me a small smile, which looked more like a smirk in my opinion, "Alice and Jasper," She pointed out the other blonde guy, and the short pixie girl, who immediately ran over to me and enveloped me into a big hug and started talking excitedly to me.

"Oh! Bella!! I'm so glad to finally meet you! You have no clue how annoying it is, constantly seeing a person and not knowing who they are!" Alice smiled at me, "We're going to have so much _fun_ shopping today! We'll be best friends by night fall!! You'll look so cute in this blue dress that I saw at the mall!! I can't wait to finally get to know more about you than just seeing snippets of you!!!" I smiled down at her, and she noticed that she was practically mauling me. "Oops… Sorry… Jasper says I have control issues…" Jasper smiled at this, then turned to me.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you, Bella," He said in a calm voice that matched his appearance. I smiled and said a quiet hello back to him. A voice cleared itself behind us, and we turned around. Eleazar smiled.

"Carmen, I think you're forgetting Edward…" Carmen laughed.

"Oh, yes. And Isabella, this moody boy is Edward…" She pointed to the last name-less Cullen. Aaah… The Emo one with the bronze hair. He gave me a small smile, which quickly turned into a look of confusion.

"I can't hear her…" He said quietly. Carlisle looked at me, then at Edward slightly meaningfully.

"No, nothing…" Edward said to Carlisle. Ok. Officially confused here. I really didn't get what was going on, but yet everyone else was just acting like this was an everyday occurrence. Come to think of it… It probably was...

No… He couldn't… That would be silly… Just because Kate and Eleazar had super cool 'talents' didn't mean that everyone else did.

…Or did it?

"Can you read minds?" I asked Edward. Edward gave me a freaked out look.

"Who told you about that?"

"No one, I guessed… I mean, it's fairly obvious once you kinda get a hunch on what's going on…"

Everyone gave me a weird look. I suddenly felt very uncomfortable with everyone's eyes on me.

"Well… You certainly have good intuition… I think this may be your talent…" The one named Carlisle mused.

"No, no… We thought that we had already figured out her talent…" Irina said slowly, "She is repulsed by human blood…" All the Cullen's, excluding Alice, gave me awed looks, "She becomes ill merely at the smell of it…" Irina continued slowly.

"Extraordinary…" Carlisle said, "it would appear that she has another strong trait…" Carlisle turned to me, "Bella? Were you sick at the smell of human blood when you were human?"

I'm not sure…" I answered slowly, "I cannot remember anything about my human life except for the night I was attacked. That's it,"

"Well, if you were, that would explain the blood aversion…" He said, mainly to himself.

"Enough with this boring talk!" Alice suddenly piped up, "We can talk later! However," Sudenly her face was filled with a wide grin, "The mall closes at 9… We need a _good_ 5 hours there at least, if we're expected to make a dent on Bella's new wardrobe! We _are_ only here for the weekend…" Alice's face became thoughtful, "Come on, ladies… We have some shopping to do…"

(Yes, yes, I know. _But Smurf, the Cullens are _leaving Yes, the Cullens are only going to be here for about 2 chapters so far. DO NOT WORRY, THEY WILL BE BACK. It just bothers me when Bella lives with the Denali coven for like 1 ½ chapters, and then suddenly they're gone. POOF! No more Denali! Sorry, guys, not gonna happen in here. I want the characters to grow, to get; _possibly_, I know crazy idea but, _possibly _create some emotional connections between Bella and them, and so on… Don't worry… The Cullens will only be gone for 2 or 3 chapters. They will come back soon. Ok. On with the enquiries!!

A few people said some stuff about Bella only being 15. Bella looks older than her age. She really looks about 16, 17 in here. Just like how Alice looks about 5 years younger than her physical age, Bella looks a couple of years older than she really is.

Also, why am I against the movie? I fell like they're going to ruin it. I mean, look at Harry Potter for Pete's sakes!! I also think they can't translate the awesome-ness that is Twilight into a movie. I'm sorry, I just think it cannot be done. It could be a wonderful movie, I'm just a little iffy about it. Especially when MTV films were planning on completely CORRUPTING the entire thing (i.e. Blonde Bella, Edward and the rest of the Cullens missing…)

But, I am trying to accept it, and believe that if Stephenie Meyer is happy with the progress going on, then it shouldn't be a complete train wreck.

THANK YOU BUNCHES TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE REVIEWED!!!! I don't care if you d or not, I'm just happy that people like this!!! YAY!!!

Xxoo

--Smurf


	5. Chapter 4: Midnight Meeting

_Wooooow….. I have like 1000 hits and I'm only on chapter 5! YAY!!! Don't worry to mon amies who want the Cullens to come back soon, they will. Just give me three chapters, max. They will be back!! Wow…. How Terminator of me……_

_Sorry this is kinda late…. I've been feeling icky, and still have MOUNTAINS of homework to do. Grr. _

_Ooops…. DISCLAIMER, I OWN NOTHING; there. ONWARDS!!!_

Chapter 4: Midnight Meetings

Shopping with Alice and Rosalie, heck, shopping with all of them was exhausting.

And that's coming from a vampire who can't sleep.

Alice had fun dragging me from store to store. But, I do have to admit, that girl has _excellent_ style. I got some really nice clothes, and lots of comfy sweats. I like my sweats. They're simple, versatile and comfy. What more could you ask for?

We were driving in the car back home when Alice started her interrogation. She flipped around so she could look at me as she was riding shotgun, and I prepared myself to be asked question after question.

"So Bella… I want to know _everything_… You have no clue how irritating it is getting visions of people without knowing who the heck they even are!"

"What do you mean, "Visions"?" I asked curiously. Alice gave me a disapproving look.

"You know, you're really making this whole "lets get to know my new best friend" thing hard… Ok, I'll answer you question. But! You have to let me ask as many questions as I want afterwards!" Her eyes gleamed at the thought.

"Don't agree to it Bella! Or, well…At least put a limit on her, or something…" Rosalie muttered, trying to seem as if she wasn't helping me out. I was on to her; she _was_ helping me…

She might even… Dare I think it?!?

Be starting to _like_ me…

"Ok, fine only 2 hours, max, deal?" I nodded, and Alice seemed satisfied. "OK, I can see the future, so when you got changed I kept on seeing little snippets of you wandering around the forest somewhere outside of Canada… It was really sad… I couldn't figure out where you where, I felt to useless! I saw you looking so alone, and slowly almost going insane, but I couldn't do anything about it!! I keep seeing you in my visions… I saw you in Victoria… And Medicine Hat…" I Gave her a confused look, "The future changes, depending on the decisions you make," I gave Alice another confused look, and she smiled, trying to explain it to me better, "Ok…umm… Oh, here's an example! Say you decided to do laundry on Friday… I would see you doing laundry, and that wouldn't change until you decided to go hunting instead, then I would see you hunting… get it?" Oh, I got it now… My face lit up.

"That is SO cool!!!" I exclaimed, Alice smiled, "That is WAY better than my stupid 'talent'…" I gave Tanya a dirty look as she snorted at me, "Honestly… Feeling as if you're gonna hurl whenever a stupid person walks by… How cool is that?!" I asked sarcastically. Rosalie snorted, and Tanya rolled her eyes.

"Bella… Your talent is very useful… It's better than trying to resist the urge to completely drain a person dry when they walk by…" Irina murmured.

Tanya nodded.

I sighed.

_They_ didn't know what it felt to still dry-heave and not be able to relieve the feeling of utter nausea.

_They_ weren't forced to stand a mile away from Anchorage to 'harness' their talent while they were close to dry-sobs, with Eleazar not letting them leave until they could control their gag-reflex…

I shuddered.

NEW SUBJECT!!! I was screaming to myself, trying not to break down merely at the painful memory…

"What can everyone else do? I mean… Other than you and Edward…" I trailed off, eyes lit up.

Alice chuckled, "Well… Jasper can feel and manipulate other people's emotions… Emmett is very strong, one of the strongest vampires you'll ever meet… Carlisle has his compassion, that's what made him come up with the idea of feeding off of animals;" Alice added matter-of-factly, "Esme has her extreme ability to love… And Rosalie… Well, Rosalie can look pretty…" Alice finished with a wicked grin.

"I _do not_!!!!!" Rosalie screeched, turning to Alice, "I have other talents too!!!" Rosalie turned to me, to defend herself, "I'm one of the best mechanics you'll ever find!" She stated proudly, then started laughing at my incredulous look.

I managed to shut my mouth, and add "Really? That's useful… So you can, like, build new engines and so on? Make them go really fast?!" I asked eagerly.

Rosalie smiled.

The first real smile she had ever given me.

I was really happy now.

"Exactly!" She said, "And besides, it's faster and easier to just fix the cars myself instead of getting them shipped out," She shuddered, "Ugh! Other people touching my babies!! That's just disgusting!!!"

We spent the rest of the car ride talking.

Rosalie was really great to talk to once she started liking you, and once you got over her pride and so on.

It was fun.

But, I got kind of scarred at Alice's reaction to me never remembering a sleepover.

"We can have one together!!!" She shrieked happily, causing the rest of us in the car to cover our ears. "Sorry…" She added, "It's just, I can't remember my human life, either! We can make better 'human' memories together!" She pouted, "I've wanted a sleepover for so long now… Rosalie refuses to have one with me…" Alice rolled her eyes and Rosalie scoffed.

We finally made it home, and all the other woman were whisked off by their respective mates, save for Tanya and Irina. But they were going out with Kate that night anyway to pick up some new guys.

I shuddered at the thought.

_Whores_, I laughed to myself.

I grabbed the mountainous amount of bags from the back of the car (if you want to know how much there were, well, a little visual for you. Stacked on top of each other, the bags would be taller than me. Taller than the car…) and trudged up to my room, closing the door gently behind me to unpack.

It took me half-an-hour to get all my clothes away.

With vampire speed.

Needless to say, there was a lot.

Once happily done, I put on my brand-spanking-new sweats, and headed to the library.

Ahh… the library… How my heart yearns for thee…

A good three hours later, and it was dark.

And I had gotten through 5 books.

I was very happy with my progress.

My favourite book so far had been _Wuthering Heights_, which was one of my few re-read books. It was really good.

I walked back to my room, preferring the softness of my bed, when I noticed my eyes. And the current situations going on all around me in the rooms currently occupied by the couples.

Ew…

I looked at my eyes, then smiled happily at my excuse. My eyes were very dark, so I decided to go for a hunt. Calling goodbye to Carmen and Eleazar, I ran from the house and smelled a nice, juicy caribou. This was going to be good. And filling… I couldn't wait.

I found my sought-after caribou. And I killed it. And I drank from it.

Sorry if that's a little bit gruesome for you, but, hey. I've never seen _Bambi_, so the whole animal-rights thing is lost with me.

I lied down in the grass and looked up at the stars, when I smelt someone coming closer to me.

I shot up, and spied Edward walking towards me. I lied back down and settled into the grass, content to just watch the stars when I felt him lie down beside me. We sat in silence for a few minutes.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked him quietly, not wanting to wholly break the peace the crickets had created around us.

"Do you honestly need to know?" I could hear the smile in his tone, "It's bad enough when you have to hear all them… Imagine having to read their thoughts _and_ get the audio equivalent…" I laughed and shuddered at the same time. That would suck more than my talent did…

"Why are _you_ out here?" He suddenly asked me, propping himself up so that he could peer down at me. My stomach flipped-flopped, making me thankful that I was not human, cause I wouldn't want to hear how fast my poor little heart would have been racing.

That would be _so_ embarrassing.

"You know…" I said, with a small smile and a wave of my arm, "Half of the same reason you are… Books and headphones only distract you so much… Tanya can be…loud…" He laughed at that, "And it doesn't help when she's right next door to me…" I shuddered, remembering the…_sounds_… that had emitted from her room whenever she had a 'gentleman caller' come for her. Edward laughed louder at this.

"Well… At least there's outside…" He said, lying back down beside me, "And it's nice having someone to wait out the night with me…" He looked back up at the stars, "I want to apologise for my…less than welcoming display earlier today… That was very uncalled for.," He said, his tone suddenly became frustrated, "It's just difficult… You know? I am used to hear everyone else's thoughts around me all the time… Yet I cannot read yours… You are very unpredictable to me…" He murmured, trailing off.

"I like that you can't read me… I like having privacy." I stated matter-of-factly. Edward chuckled.

"Yes, I believe that…" He said to himself quietly. Things fell back into a comfortable silence, and we both sat there just observing the stars.

Spending time with Edward was nice. It was almost as if we did not even need to speak, we just _knew_ what the other was thinking.

After sometime, I spoke.

"How does it feel?" I asked him, when his eyes showed confusion, I re-worded my question, "How does it feel to remember? To remember your mother? To know what you life was like before you were like _this_?" I motioned to myself. Edward gave me an understanding look, then his eyes took on a sad look.

"Sometimes… I wish I couldn't remember…" He started, "To remember what I lost… Thinking of my family saddens me… To think that I could have had a family, and my own life, but it was taken away from me… Don't get me wrong! What Carlisle did was one of the most understandable choices I've ever seen, and I thank him utmost for it… Just, sometimes, I wonder what life would be like, being…normal. Having a family… Having to worry if they're ok or if they will come back home… To worry if you child is safe at school, or if your sister is really all right as she sits in her room all alone…" Edward looked thoughtful for a moment.

It felt as if tears were pricking at my eyes, yet I couldn't find the release that I wanted. The pain of the unshed tears was haunting me.

It was if it hit me then.

Like a ton of bricks or like an Acme cinder block had just fallen on me, like Coyote in _Bugs Bunny_…

_I wasn't human_.

_I will never get to feel that…_

_I will never love…_

_I will never feel that type of love or receive it…_

"But at least you can remember it…" I breathed, beginning to dry sob at my sudden realisation and feeling of loss, forgetting that Edward could hear me.

Edward looked at me in surprise, and, almost automatically, pulled his arms around me, trying to calm me as I dry-sobbed into his chest, feeling nothing but pain and utter loneliness.

"I'll—I'll never know what it was like…" I tried to explain, to stop freaking him out as much as I assume I was now, "But, you, you can remember… And the memories are better than not knowing at all… I'll never know if my mother loved me or not… Or if my father loved me either…" I chocked out.

Edward didn't say anything.

Yet he didn't need to. Everything he could have said was right there in his eyes and in the way he rubbed my back as I chocked out my tearless sobs.

And that was how I spent my first night with Edward Cullen.

Crying into his chest, and yet feeling as if I had known him for all of my existence.

_There. Are you all happy?? I pushed myself… Kinda sad, only 8:30, yet I'm like ready to pass out. I think I might be getting sick. GROSS. Eep… So taataa my small ones, have fun waiting for my next instalment, cause It might not come till the weekend…_

_Review if you want, I honestly don't care._

_xxoo_

_--Smurf_


	6. Chapter 5: Leaving

_Ok. I'm home 'resting', a.k.a. when I fell asleep last night at FREAKING _**8:45 **_I was ready to pass out, and then when I was woken up this morning, I felt no different. Oh, and I also felt sick. Things are just lovely, huh? OMC!!! Over ONE NIGHT, I got 500 hits!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy!!!!!!! And you should be happy too that I don't care about reviews…. Or else you'd be getting no new chapters until "I got 50 more reviews for this chapter!!!!!" But I don't care! IM JUST HAPPY THAT PEOPLE READ THIS!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!_

_Aww… Thank you to the people who do review… They are really nice reviews that make me smile. I like to smile, regardless of what my parents claim._

_Yes, I know. I have ONE MORE thing to say, so just calm down, the chapter's not going anywhere. Well, actually two more things to say…. But that's beside the point._

_1) This is the last chapter with the Cullens. Yes, I know sad, tears all around… But __ne pleurez pas, mes petits enfants__… They will be back in about 2 or 3 chapters…. _

_2) I have pretty much mentally written whats going to happen when Bella lives with the Cullens!!! Including the romantic-fluffy scenes with Bella and Edward!!! (And, seriously, if you're sitting there angry cause I 'ruined it by telling you that Bella and Edward are getting together!!!" To that, I have to say, "WHERE YOU LIVING UNDER A ROCK DURING THE BOOK?!?!?! DUDE, OF COURSE THEY'RE GETTING TOGETHER!!!! Carlisle……")_

_OK OK!!!! Author's note over, don't hit…._

Chapter 5: Leaving

The sun was rising.

It was 2 days after my little… breakdown.

Edward and I had grown considerably closer, and we enjoyed spending the night just talking and running. It turned out that Edward enjoyed running as much as I did.

But I was faster.

How do I know this? We liked to race.

A lot. Hey, racing was _fun_. And who doesn't love a good game of "find the moose and drain him dry first"?

The sun was safely a few metres above the horizon. It was _not _night. And the household rules _clearly_ stated that any… _intimate _couple stuff was only allowed at night… Cause, I don't wanna hear that while I am _trying _to read in the study.

At noon.

Yeah, AT FRICKIN TWELVE O'CLOCK. That was an experience I was not willing to do again. So we came up with the rule.

For as long as I didn't have a mate. Then the rule was null.

But the sun was up… It was safe…

…for now.

Edward and I got up and started to walk back to the house, content with the silence that had fallen between us.

Today was going to be sad. The Cullens were leaving. And for the most hilarious reason too… Get this. They were leaving to go to…_school_.

I know!!!!!! That was one of the funniest things I had _ever_ heard, and I laughed for a full 10 minutes upon hearing it.

"So… Bella…" Irina said after I had slightly calmed down, "I take this as your 'no' for when we ask you if you would like to attend school?" I gave her a very obvious look.

There was _no way_ I was going to school. Mean, just… _**Ew**_… Do they not realise how nasty that would smell?! I could _barely_ keep it together when we went to the mall. And I wasn't directly beside any of the foul smelling humans. Ugh… School…

Edward and I walked into the house and sat down with the rest of the Cullens who had finished their… activities.

The Cullens had planned on leaving around noon, which only gave us about five hours until they had to leave. There was so much to do!!

X-Box with Emmett… "Dress-Up" with Alice (I did NOT suggest that… But who can resist Alice's puppy eyes?!?)… Basic Car Parts 101 with Rosalie… Painting with Esme… Learning with Carlisle… Debates with Jasper… And Edward.

Edward and I we labelled the "BFFs" of the house. Or, we were pretty much inseparable… And only after 2 days together… I would hate to see how dependent I would become if I spent more time with him…

Yet I wanted to.

It was indescribable. How I felt about Edward.

Slightly like boy-band crush mixed with a dash of friend-ship. I had no clue what I was feeling. And I was very content with my Dr Phil, or Jasper, at not mentioning this.

Besides. It's not like I would _actually_ be going out with Edward or whatever. And he didn't even like me like that. I was like his little sister best friend hybrid. There was _no way_ he would like me like that.

…I think.

Ugh! I hate boys. They are confusing. Stupid boys. Stupid _boy_. **(Sorry… Channelling Kelly here… Let me borrow that top, betch)**

"Come on, Bella!!" Alice trilled, "Let's play dress up!!! There's only _so_ many hours left… And I want to spend time with my favourite Barbie…" Alice gave me a serene smile.

Great. Dress up time with Alice. I followed her up the stairs.

I let my mind wander still on the ever pressing issue that is Edward. I will never know what to do concerning him.

"So…" Alice trailed off suggestively as she forced me into a chair.

"So…?" I asked. I had no clue what she was trying to get at.

"I've seen you for the past few nights…" Alice said, and smiled impishly.

"Um… Ok…?" Ok, thoroughly confused here.

"I'm so happy for you!" Alice hugged me and happily chattered on, "I thought you two might get together, but then when I saw you break down… And Edward hugging you! I just _knew_ that that would be the breaking point for him… It's just you I'm not sure about… But then again… You two are the 'BFFs'…" Alice trailed off with a happy smile.

"Alice… What are you talking about?" I asked slowly as if she was crazy or a small child. _Ohhh…_ I thought, the idea suddenly coming to me.

Oh, crap.

"What?!? _Edward_?!?! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?!?!" I suddenly remembered that probably everyone in the house could hear us, and I lowered my voice, "Alice!" I hissed, "There is _nothing_ going on between Edward and me! What would give you that idea?!?!" I yelped, paling.

There was a very pregnant pause.

"So…" Alice said, looking partly sad and confused, "There's nothing going on between you and Edward …" Alice suddenly got a thoughtful look on her face, "But I was _sure_… I never get anything wrong…" I gave Alice a weird look, and she realised that she was muttering aloud.

"_What_ did you see?" I asked between gritted teeth, breath slightly bated.

"Nothing… Nothing…" Alice said, trying to cover up her mistake, "Umm… I think I'm all done here… Why don't you go see someone else…I need to…ah…pack!!! Yes, yes… I need to pack!! See you later Bella!!!" Alice pushed me out of the door and slammed it slightly behind me. I could have _sworn_ I heard a 'shit' whispered on the other side of the door.

"Well just peachy…" I muttered, turning around and planning on seeing Esme for decorating tips in my room. I turned around and nearly collided with Edward. _Great_. This morning just keeps on getting better and better, doesn't it?

"Hello, Bella," Edward chuckled, with a slight edge I wouldn't have noticed the other day. That confused me. He sounded kinda…anxious… Why would he be anxious?

"Hey, Edward," I said cheerily, side stepping him, to walk down the hallway to go see Esme. Seeing Edward was one of the last things on my list to do. Stupid boy and his irresistible-ness…

"Bella…" He called out, and I turned around, and kept on walking backwards slowly down the hallway.

"What's up?" I asked him, still walking.

"You'll come visit us, right?" He asked me. I was slightly put off by his question. It was really…really random.

"Yeah, sure, Edward…" I said, smiling and continuing my walk.

"Good…" He said. He was stalling. I knew it. He was hiding something from me, I could tell. "Well… I just wanted to tell you…" He trailed off. Man, was this guy infuriating!!

"Yes, Edward?" I said with a slight smile.

"I—I'm gonna miss you…" He said. He chickened out. My gut was _screaming_ that that wasn't all…

I decided to humour him.

"I'll miss you too… I'm gonna go see Esme, ok?" He nodded, "Oh! Are you all packed? You guys are leaving in like and hour…"

He gave me a sad smile, "Yeah, just going to do that…" He started to walk down the hallway, "See you later, Bella…" He trailed off, and gave me a half hearted grin. I smiled back, turned around and continued my walk to go see Esme.

--&--

The Cullens left.

They packed up their cars, and they stood at the door saying their final goodbyes.

I couldn't believe that I had only met them a few days ago… It was like the rest of my family. I had known them a little over two weeks, yet we were almost perfectly fitted together.

We gave our clichéd tear-filled goodbyes.

Then they were gone.

_He _was gone with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, telling he'd talk to me soon. They were gone.

I stood at the door staring out for 5 minutes.

It was 5 minutes.

And I missed them already.

_Yes, yes. Short. BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Look look!!! I tried to do Edward!!! Turn the Carlisle-damned page…._


	7. Chapter 5 and a half EPOV

_Trying something new here… A small interlude with Edward!!! Prepare for the horrid writing to begin!!!!!!!!_

**EPOV (a.k.a. Chapter 5 ½) **

I chickened out.

DAMMIT.

Why am I always like this around her?!

_Her_…

Her perfect skin…

Her perfect hair…

Her perfect _self_…

_Bella…_

The _thought_ of her name brought shivers to my spine…

She was beautiful…

She _understood_…

She was perfect…

She was perfectly unobtainable.

She only saw me as a friend… Where as I saw her as a goddess… I practically worshiped the ground she had the grace to walk on… If she had asked me to carve out my un-beating heart and present it to her, I would have done it in an instant. If she had asked my to give her the moon and stars, I would. I would do anything for my Bella.

_My_ Bella.

I shivered at the thought.

But it would never be.

I would maybe see her a few times a year, yes, definitely talk to her, but to actually _see _her… To be able to touch her soft hair… Or to hold her like I did that one incredible first night I met her…

The joy I felt at the thought of her not being able, or not wanting, to attend school was indescribable.

The thought at silly humans being able to gaze upon her perfect beauty was painful… The thought of a random _boy_ asking her out caused my breath to catch and not start again… The thought of me not being there to shield her away from the undeserving disgusting male population…

Pain.

That's what I felt.

Pain of not being there with her right now… Not being able to just turn the car around and snatch her up and run away with her so I would never have to share her… Pain of not being able to be with her for every second of the day… Pain at not being able to claim her as mine… Pain at not even being able to kiss her wonderfully looking soft, full lips…

Pain.

That's what I was without my Bella.

And I had barely known her 3 days.

My head was screaming that this was foolish… That she would never feel anything other than sisterly love towards me, that she could never like me like this. THAT IS WAS THREE SODDING DAYS!!! Bella will never love you, monster, my head screamed. You are punished to always love her, and she will never give you a second glance.

…_Love…_

Yes.

That is what this is… Esme will be ecstatic. Emmett will tease. Rosalie will be shocked that I am not gay. Alice will smile knowingly… She already knew this would happen… Jasper would give me congratulation… Carlisle would breathe a sigh of relief and be over come with happiness.

Then they would realise that she would never love me back.

And the pity would start.

I hate pity.

They don't need to know.

Alice, of course would know. And give me cryptic responses.

Jasper, obviously, would know as well.

But they wouldn't tell anyone.

It would be my little secret.

_See? That was bad. _

_Ugh. I have to go to the doctors on Tuesday. And I will be very, very busy this weekend. Like, VERY. Procrastination is a betch, children, DON'T DO IT._

_I have the best reviewers in the world!!!!!!!!!! _

_Thank you all!!!!!!!!!!_

_Xxoo_

_--Smurf_


	8. Chapter 6: Life in Alaska

_This chapter actually didn't really exist until a few seconds ago… You can skip it if you want, I just want to put it in to give the peeps in Alaska some more depth. And fluff. Ths is gonna be a short one._

Chapter 6 (or Chapter 5 ¾): Life in Denali

_Denali, Alaska, 2003 (Bella is just turning 16)_

"Come on, Bella! We know you'll like it……" Tanya said slyly in a sing-song voice. Ugh. I would certainly _not_.

'Have fun' my ass.

They call doing _that_ fun?! I mean… Tanya and Kate I would expect to go to something like this…. But Eleazar, Irina and Carmen as well!?! What was the world coming to?!

"No!" I cried out to the other side of my heavy wooden door. I would _not_ go, and neither would they make me. I do _not _go to things like that, and they know it! Heaven knows that after a year of living with me they should know my likes and dislikes….

But no. Here Tanya was, trying to get me to go with them to a…

…_pastry convention_…

On one of her insane whims. My lord, woman. Could they at least want to go to something _they could actually do_?! I mean, they can go, _but are they actually going to get anything out of this_?!?! It's FOOD, for Christ's sake!! FOOD.

THEY DO NOT EAT FOOD.

FOOD IS ALSO CALLED HUMANS/ANIMALS TO THEM.

Gosh.

Half and hour later I was in the car. And we were making out way down to s convention centre in Anchorage.

Did I mention how much I hate my life at this moment?

The five of them jumped out of the car looking as happy as 8-year-olds on Christmas morning.

Even Eleazar looked excited, and he was the calm collected one in this family!

"Come on, Bella!" Kate called out as she pulled on my hand towards the centre's door. I rolled my eyes.

Trying to sound enthusiastic, "That's ok, Kate!" I pulled a smile, which probably looked like a grimace, onto my face, "I wanna go look around myself!"

Carmen and Eleazar handed us our tickets to get in.

Kate looked unsure, "Are you certain, Bella? I mean… We wouldn't want to lose you… Or to make you feel left out…"

"No! No, I'll be fine!"

"She will be fine, Kate…" Irina said, giving me a smile, "We'll meet back here at 3, ok Bella?"

"Sure, sure," I said to them, "I'm just going to go wander around!" I said, starting to walk away, "…Or go sit in the car…" I mumbled to myself after I was a while away from them.

"I HEARD THAT!!!" Tanya called out.

"WHOOPS!!!" I turned around and shouted out, smiling widely now, "DID I SAY THAT OUT LOUD!!!"

I kept on walking into the throng of humans. They still smell disgusting; I could just keep my gag-reflex under control now.

That was one of Irina's reasons why I should go to this ridiculous thing, to help keep my 'talent' under control.

I walked around the humans, thinking I fitted in just finely, for I looked reasonably average.

I thought wrong.

Great.

A human boy was attempting to talk to me. Just peachy.

"Hey…" The pathetic boy said, giving me what he attempted to be a seductive smile. I smiled back, a little. I just wanted him to go away…

"My name's Cody, what's yours?" He said, slightly touching me. Can you say EW? He smelled gross, and his hand felt like it was burning through my shirt. I yanked my arm out of his reach.

"And why should I tell you my name?" I gave him a sweet smile. He gave me a disbelieving look. I guess this guy wasn't turned down much.

"Umm…" He trailed off, looking quite stupid.

"Exactly. Now leave me alone, I think I see my boyfriend coming…" I lied flawlessly. He narrowed his eyes.

"I don't believe that you have a boyfriend…You're just trying to blow me off…" Perfect.

"W—What?" I asked, making my eyes go wide. I spoke slightly louder now, attracting a crowd, "You don't think I'm pretty enough to have a boyfriend?!" I said with a small wail at the end.

"That is NOT COOL, man!" This one random guy called out with his girlfriend.

"Yeah!" The random guy's girlfriend called back, "That was just mean! Look, you made her cry, and she's the prettiest girl here! What's your problem, retard!"

Just then my cell phone rang. I pulled it out, and it was Alice. I whipped it out.

"Alice…" I whispered just loud and fast enough for her to hear, "Get one of you brothers NOW…"

"Hey Bella!" Emmett cried cheerfully out on the other end of the phone, "Alice said to call you just now, so I did!"

"Good, now I need you to act like my boyfriend and yell at this annoying guy for me, ok?"

Emmett roared with laughter, "Sure, sure! I can do that!!"

I went back to my normal voice, my whole conversation with Emmett taking only about 5 seconds, "Hi Honey!!!!!!" I said, then gave that Cody a dirty look, "Will you yell at the mean guy for me!! He doesn't know how to take rejection," I said angrily, I sweetly held the phone out for Cody and whispered to people, "My boyfriend is _very_ protective, and he just _hates_ when people make me cry…" I said happily, "Did I mention he's a wrestler?!" Cody paled. This was fun!

Long story short; Emmett made Cody cry.

A lot.

It was awesome! I had lots of fun retelling the story to my family as we walked from the centre to the car 2 hours later…

"See, Bella?!" Kate said, "We told you that you would have fun! What did we say!!?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Yes…" Carmen said with a happy look in her eye, "I liked the part where we laughed at the humans and their silly 'piping' tools so spread on frosting…" Eleazar snickered. I looked on, amused, at their childish antics.

Later that week, we went to the museum. It was _hilarious_ to watch Kate or Tanya argue with the tour guide when they would tell us wrong information. I mean, they would know, considering all of Tanya, Kate, Carmen, Eleazar and Irina had _lived_ in that time period…

And Carmen's narration of the Tudor history was just _amazing_. And Eleazar, his knowledge on Napoleon was just… awesome. It was hard to believe that I would seem this way to some other vampire in a few centuries was mind blowing…

Living with my new family was they only way I knew how to. I mean, sure, the girls couldn't give very up-to-date dating tips and fashion advice, but hey, they were my family. And I always had Alice to chat with if things were that pressing.

Life was perfectly fine.

Maybe things were a little boring at night… But I had Edward to talk to.

Everything was going to be Ok.

_Ok, so maybe that wasn't short… But still…._

_You all should be HAPPY. I'm tired all the time, my hair is coming out, I'm barely eating, I really should be doing my homework… But I still make time to write…. Ok, I shouldn't guilt trip you… Writing is relaxing…_

_And don't worry… the Cullens will magically pop out of a hole in TWO more chapters. Which means in Chapter 8, they shall be back!!! And be prepared for fluffy-ness to come. I haven't figured out what that climax and stuff is gonna be, so… I'll just have to throw in random fluff to make you all happy until I can come up with a better idea for the 'crisis' dun dun DUNNN Oh, and I'm going to the doctors and stuff this week, and I have my PP, so you'll either be denied updates or they will come in ubundance. I don't know. Well just have to wait and see…_

_Xxoo_

_--Smurf_

_ps, "If you choke a smurf, what colour does it turn?" it turns no colour. Its lack of oxygen would just cause it to stay the same colour, but we would flail a lot…_

_2500 hits!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!_


	9. Chapter 7: Excuse Me?

Chapter 7: Excuse Me?

_Denali, Alaska, 2004 (Bella is 17, but still 15 physically)_

"Are you serious?!" I yelped into the phone. It was a year since I had seen the Cullens last, and I really missed them. I talked to Edward everyday and Alice almost once a week, but it wasn't the same. I missed star gazing with Edward when they came up over their summer break.

I was talking to Edward on the phone, lying in the clearing where I always went at night. Edward was re-telling a story about how that day, a girl tried to ask him out…again.

Edward, on the other end, chuckled.

"Yes, I am! That is exactly what she did!" He laughed.

"Oh my, gosh… That girl is too much…" I giggled.

"No, and that's not the best part…" He continued on, "Then, after I stood there, dumbfounded at her question, how she worded it was very awkward, she said I could drive her new Mercedes if I went out with her!" I roared with laughter, "Honestly, Bella, if you saw her face when I told her that I have an Aston Martin at home… It was hilarious!!"

Talking to Edward was the best part of my day.

_Edward_ was the best part of my day… He listened, and _got_ what I was talking about… He was there for me when I was sad and happy with me when I finally overcame the nasty human pungent ness.

Edward was my rock. And the sad thing was I hardly ever got to see him…

Night was our time. We would spend all of it talking about or favourite things or whatever else came to us. One time, we had a complete conversation about oranges. I know, sounds lame and impossible, but we pulled it off.

What I liked to heard about was Edward's life at school. School, now, was starting to sound more appealing to me.

Because I was slightly bored. My life quite monotone most of the time.

I did most of the same things everyday. It was a nice comforting routine when I was first getting the hang of this new life, but now I was getting bored.

Weird as it was to admit it, I wanted a boyfriend. Or at least _something_. Friends my own age who I could go hang out with without getting weird looks from the other kids around the mall or museum or where ever I was.

And, well, no one really like to go out much to places I wanted to go to around here.

Pastry conventions, clubbing, Russian operas, ballets….

Sorry, but it wasn't really my thing… Well, it wasn't when I was the third or 5th wheel….

It was around June when I started to realise these things.

Around the last time Edward visited.

The time I came to a conclusion about my Stupid Boy.

I loved him.

That wasn't really that good… Considering he was my best friend… And that he was completely unobtainable…

Edward was Edward. Which means he was perfect in every way, shape and form. He could read Latin, went to medical, _twice_ I think the last count was, and he could play the piano.

Yes, that's right. The _piano_.

He even wrote his own music!!!!!!!

How in the heck was I supposed to live up to that?! To make him fall in love with me?

The answer is no way. And besides… He doesn't even like me like that, as I have already made a valid point. I am Edward's little sister, turning more into his best friend. There is _no way_ that he could even fathom that he likes me.

Sigh….. That's what I get with becoming friends with guys and then falling head over heals for them…

"Bella? Bella? Are you even listening?" Edward's voice called to me over the small piece of plastic in my hand.

"Sorry, Edward…" I said guiltily, snapping out of my musing, "I zoned out…"

"Really…" His amused voice called out, "I would have never guessed…" He added, dryly.

"Well, I would have you know—"

"Isabella!" Carmen called to me. I shot up. It was night… Usually she and Eleazar were acting like rabbits at the setting of the sun… This was odd. I looked down at my watch.

2:47 am.

No… I didn't lose track of time… What was going on?

"One, sec, Edward…" I said, then covered the mouthpiece, "What's up, Carmen? Did something happen?!" I asked frantically.

"No, no… Can you just come back to the house…? We have something to discuss with you…" Carmen called, then turned around gracefully and flitted back to the house.

"I… a… I have to go…" I said amazedly to Edward. Something was _defiantly _up with them…

"Wow… Carmen and Eleazar actually stopped for 10 minutes to talk to you?"

"I know, mark the calendar!!" I smiled.

"OK, so talk to you later, right?"

"Yup, this shouldn't take long…" I hung up then, and ran back to the house where everyone was sitting in the living room. Odd…

"Hello, Bella…" Irina said kindly, patting the seat next to her. I sat down, and she started to play with my hair in a motherly sort of way. It was soothing… I had a feeling I would need soothing for this conversation…

"We have something we would like to discuss with you…" Eleazar said carefully. They all exchanged worried looks. I do not like where this is going…

"Ok, ah…shoot," I said, trying to break the scary cautiousness of the conversation.

"Dear, we think you should go stay with the Cullens," Kate blurted out. My mouth fell open.

"Excuse me?!" I exclaimed.

Carmen had taught me my manners well. She insisted that no '21st rude "slang"' was going to infiltrate my vocabulary. "Vulgar words like that over used 'what' and 'sorry,' You shall use proper grammar…" Carmen had said. Carmen had impeccable manners… Like Irina, who had enforced them.

They were like my mothers.

Tanya and Kate; my older sisters.

Eleazar; my brother.

All of them; my family.

And now they were asking me to leave.

I felt the hurt and betrayal seeping up through my being. Why would my family ask me to leave? Was I intruding on them? What did I do wrong?!

OK, maybe I have slight abandonment issues after waking up alone all those months ago, but hell, I had a REASON.

I thought I had finally found my place, and now I was being asked to leave.

A slap in the face when expecting a kiss.

Yes, it might be nice to get to hang out with other kids my age, and it would be nice to see Edward again, but I wasn't planning on giving up my _family_ for that!

"Sweetie…" Irina started to say, as I ripped myself away from her, and started to race up the stairs to my room, "We didn't mean it like _that_,"

I stopped, and slowly turned around, trying to keep the hurt and betrayal off of my face.

"I get it…" I looked down at my feet, "I'm sorry I intruded… If you felt this way, you should have told me sooner… I would have left. I'll go pack my stuff," I turned towards the stairs and ran up to my room, trying to close the door as quietly as I could so I may sob in peace.

I was in my room, sitting on my bed, when I realized that I should be packing. I sadly opened my closet, and started to pull down my clothes.

My bedroom door opened, and Kate stepped in.

Of course, they would send Kate in.

Kate and I were as close to being sisters as people could get. She was the one who could calm me down or guilt trip me into doing something.

"Bella, Jelly-Belly, We didn't mean it like that…" I gave her no response, "We just thought it would be better for you… You know, you would be with kids your own age, you would get to go to school, maybe, to get a few university degrees…" She chuckled nervously a little at that.

"And we thought you _liked_ the Cullens… You got along _so well_ with them all the times that they've come down here… We just assumed…" I still said nothing, but was trying to stay calm.

"Oh, Bella, _please_ say something…" Kate said, sounding on the verge of non-existent tears.

"I guess…" I said, slowly turning around.

"What? What can we do to fix this?" Kate said, sounding hopeful.

"I could go down to stay with them, if that's what you think is best…" I said slowly, feeling on the verge of tears I knew, painfully, that would never come.

I broke down.

"But…_please_… Don't make me stay there forever!" I cried, running to Kate and hugging her fiercely, "_Please_," I said, starting to dry sob, "I don't want to leave you guys for longer… You're my family, the only family I have!! The only family I've ever known!!" I cried.

"Of course we would never make you do something you wouldn't want to do, sweetheart!" Kate said, pulling me towards her closer, "If you want to go, then you can go… But only for a year… I don't thing _I_ could handle longer than that… I can't lose my little sister, after all…" I laughed at that.

And with that, a few days later, I was on my way to Forks, Washington. To go live with the Cullens. And to go to…._high school_…..

_There, there, chapters in 2 days… Tsk Tsk, we are getting greedy… But I don't care! As long as there is not death threats to update, I'm totally cool!!! Aha… And look, theres gonna be a little problem in Forks… Any guesses, hmmm??_

_Xxoo_

_--Smurf_


	10. Chapter 8: Forks

_OVER 3000 HITS!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!_

Chapter 8: Forks 

_Somewhere in British Columbia, Canada 2004_

I speeded along the highway in my new BMW, a "Welcoming" gift from Rosalie, towards Forks.

Kate and Irina wanted to come with me, but I told them not to.

It would just make this harder.

I acted like I was totally fine with this, but, I really was far from fine.

I still felt abandoned, unwanted and alone. Just like I had felt when I was first changed. But at least everyone else was happy with this arrangement.

Everyone but me.

The Cullens were ecstatic at the thought of me living with them, and my family were happy that I was going to get some 'social interaction'.

But really, I felt deprived.

I wasn't going to have early morning talks with Tanya anymore about the merits of hot oil treatments vs. just regular conditioner in you hair. Irina would never again scold me over my misuse of the word 'like'. Eleazar wouldn't correct the history channel while we were watching a documentary about the Black Plague. Carmen wouldn't call me Isabella, and then brush my hair until it shined. And Kate. My sister. I had lost her too, I had lost her the most.

I tried not to think about the fact that I wouldn't get to see my family in a year, and blasted one of my favourite CDs to get my mind off of it.

Of course, it came from Edward. It was an awesome mix of Linkin Park, I Am Ghost, Yellowcard, and a bunch of other really awesome bands. It was angry.

Just the thing to keep my mind off of the family I was leaving behind.

I heard the insufferable wail of police sirens just as I was nearing the border. Lovely. I pulled over and waited.

A slightly over weight police officer dragged himself out of the car and walked over to my car. I rolled my eyes and rolled down my window to let the horrible sent of human and stale coffee wash over me. I tried not to gag.

"What seems to be the problem, Officer?" I asked in my innocent voice, giving him the puppy eyes that seemed to work so well with Carmen when I managed to knock over one of her favourite paintings.

The officer took a step back.

"Umm… Well, miss…" He stuttered, looking awed. I chuckled in my head, this was one of the only times I had truly appreciated being what I was.

"Oh, no…" I said in a mock "oh-my-goodness! Was _I_ just going at 225 mph in a 100 zone?!" "I _was_ going a wee bit too fast, wasn't I…?" I bit my lip and made my eyes go wide.

"Umm… Just a little… Try and go a little bit slower, ok, miss? We wouldn't want you to get all smashed up, now would we?" I smiled at the officer.

"No, that would be unfortunate indeed! Thank you, officer… I'll try and go slower next time!" I waved at him, and started to roll up my window. He walked away smiling, muttering "cute kid".

I giggled to myself as I started to drive away. Silly police officer, thinking I could get into an accident… he was a sweet man thought, not creepy like the other pervs I had come across recently…

I looked in my mirror.

He was gone.

I gunned the engine, and roared off at 250 this time. We wouldn't want to keep Alice waiting, now would we?

--&--

I managed to get to Forks at 3:30 pm.

I left at 8:00 in the morning.

I would say that I made some pretty good time.

Now I just had to follow the directions Alice gave me to get to the Cullens' house. I had been there once, but I wasn't really paying attention on how to actually get there. I found the house in record time, 5 minutes.

I beat Irina!

I pulled in to the beginning of their long driveway, and a small black blur fell into my car via the sun roof.

Alice.

She engulfed me into a hug, and started to squeal. Keeping a hold onto my arm all the while.

"Ohmygosh!!!!! We are going to have so much _fun_!!! Ok, so I got Esme to set up the room beside Edward's to be yours!! And it is just going to be fun fun fun!!! And just _wait_ until the boys at school get a look at you!! I've already seen it, and it was the funniest thing I had ever seen in three years!" Alice continued to be Alice, and she jabbered on until I pulled up to the house.

"Alice," I said in a firm voice, "_Calm down_. I know you're excited, but you have to give everyone else a chance to see me too until you take me hostage,"

She gave me a scandalous look, and hugged my arm tighter then before.

"But that is _so not fair_!!!" She said, pulling my arm closer, "I found you first!! Finders keepers!! I am not letting my Barbie go yet!!" She wailed as if the apocalypse had come earlier than expected. I gently pulled my arm out of her grasp, and opened the door.

"Alice, learn to share…" I said in an amused voice. Alice pouted.

People then started to exit the house.

People named Edward.

Insert dreamy sigh here.

"Alice… What is going on out here! I can hear you pouting in your head, and it is _not_ becoming…" Edward said angrily, then trailed off when he saw me. My heart flipped. Edward suddenly had a huge smile on his face and pulled me into a hug, "Bella!!! Alice said you weren't coming until tomorrow!!!" I hugged him back and smiled.

"She probably wanted to hog me and to play Barbie all day…" I jokingly shuddered. Edward laughed, then started to pull me towards the house.

"Hey, everyone!! Bella's here a day early!!" Edward called out, smiling when people ran down the stairs.

15 minutes and the entire hug-'how are you?'-'I'm fine'-another-hug routine was over, Esme decide to show me to my room.

"I hope that you like it… We weren't sure to get you a bed or a couch. Alice said to get both, because you would use both of them… And we got you a book shelf… And we painted for you; I hope that's ok…"

"I'm sure it's fine, Esme," I said as we walked up to my room. Esme opened the door, and I'm pretty sure I gasped.

Leave it to Esme to worry that I won't like the most beautiful room in existence.

The entire western wall was made of glass ("We took out the wall so that you would have a window!" Esme said happily, "The entire southern part of the house is already used up…" She added sadly) and my northern wall was entirely books. Bookshelf after incredible bookshelf… It was endless… (We got Jasper to pick out some of your favourites… And then, of course, Alice…" Esme said with a chuckle) My walls were deep eggplant purple. But it wasn't dark at all.

The purple just looked rich next to all the white in my room.

My bed was white. My couch; My curtains; My book shelves; My carpet; All white.

But, it wasn't Sci-Fi white, there was black in there too.

My room was amazing.

I then noticed that Esme was still talking on about how she hoped that I liked it, and she was worried that it wouldn't suit my tastes.

I ran over and hugged her. She was taken aback at first, then happily hugged me back.

"It's amazing!! I love it!! Thank you so much!!!" Esme patted my head.

"I'm glad you like it dear… We know what its like to leave your family… We just want to make your change as easy as possible…"

"Thank you…" I said quietly to her again. We finally pulled apart. And I gave her a small, sad smile.

"Ok, so, you are starting school tomorrow, I hope that's ok… We wanted you to 'stay on top of you studies'…" Esme said with a chuckle, causing me to smile. "We enrolled you in grade 11, with Edward and Alice, so you wont be entirely alone… And it is only December, so there shouldn't be too much 'catch up' time," Esme smiled at me, "Oh, and you going to be Carlisle's 'niece' coming to live with us! It should be fun!" I smiled.

"Yes, it should… Alice said that the boys should be interesting at school…" I said quietly, Esme started to shake from laughter.

"Yes, another reason why we remain unlisted in the phone book…" She chuckled at my confused look, "The boys in Forks can be rather… persistent… Those few boys you have encountered before that required one of our boys to yell at them, will seem like nothing to the ravaged hormonal teenagers you will meet tomorrow…" I froze at her warning.

"Oh, but don't worry dear! You have Edward! He can be quite scary sometimes… And Emmett… And Jasper. You are like a sister to both of them, so they should have no problems in beating off the boys…" Esme chuckled. "Well, I'll leave you to unpack! I'm sure you won't be alone for long, however…" Esme smiled warmly and started to walk away.

I sighed and grabbed my suitcases that I'm sure Jasper had placed neatly into my room and started to unpack.

Over 20 minutes later, I was shocked that I had that many clothes… it was disgusting the amount! I shuddered at the thought of how much Alice could have…

I heard someone outside my door pause slightly.

That narrowed it down to either Carlisle, Jasper, or Edward.

Rosalie would have just stridden in.

Alice would have bounded down the door and started to talk in hyper speed.

Emmett would have tried to be sneaky, and end up breaking something.

Esme was just in here.

"Come in…" I said cheerfully as I pushed my suitcases under my bed. Edward walked in startled.

"I thought you wouldn't be able to hear me…" He said, looking around my room.

"I heard you when you paused," I stated, Edward nodded.

"Do you want to come with me? I have a place I want to show you…" He said, a look of excitement crossing his face.

"Sure! Sounds like fun!" He grabbed my hand and pulled me with him out of the house and into the forest. We were in a meadow immediately. I was awed. It was amazing…

"Wow…." I breathed. Edward smiled proudly.

"I knew you'd like it… It can be like your place back at home…" He said, giving me a smile. I smiled shyly back to him, saddened of home.

"Thanks…" I sat down in the tall grasses. I closed my eyes and listened to the sounds of the forest around me. Edward quietly came and sat down beside me.

"How do you feel? I mean, about coming here…" He asked quietly, pulling my hand into his lap so he could trace soothing patterns in the skin. He knew me so well. He could tell just by how I was acting what my true feelings were… I opened my eyes and smiled sadly at him.

"I just feel so…so…" I finally broke down and started to sob tearlessly. Edward held me, knowing yet again that all I needed was to be held. "Abandoned…" I finally managed to get out.

Edward stroked my hair, "Don't worry, Bella…" He said quietly, yet fiercely at the same time, "I will _never_ abandon you… you will never be alone again…"

I loved him so much.

_Lalala…. Ugh. I hate ideas. The come to me in the night… And wont FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE UNTIL I WRITE THEM OUT!!!!!!! I just want to SLEEP!!!! I hate you, story. I hate you. _

_Aww… good poppits… You figured out the issues about Forks!!! I'm so proud of your non-clueless-ness……… _

_Xxoo_

_--Smurf_


	11. Chapter 9: School

_SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_PLEASE DON'T HIT!!!!!_

_DO YOU HAVE ANY CLUE THE AMOUNT OF STRESS I'VE BEEN UNDER THIS WEEK!?!?!?!? __**SORRY **__THAT I HAVEN'T HAD ANY TIME PRETTY MUCH TO MYSELF. CARLISLE._

Chapter 9: School

"Yo, Bella!!! Come on! We're gonna be late!!!" I heard Emmett shriek up the stairs. I sighed. First day of school. First day _alone_. Away from my family. Ugh. I hate it here… I think.

Last night with Edward was… amazing. We had so much fun, and Edward showed me his music collection. Let me tell you. The thing was _huge_. I mean, a-record-store-would-have-envy-of-that-collection huge.

And he played me the piano. He played me this wonderfully sweet lullaby… it made my heart melt. He was so sweet.

Edward promised that he would try and transfer into all of my classes. But, he couldn't today…. So, I might be alone. All I had to do was make it through the day.

Tomorrow will be better…

Tomorrow will be better…

Yeah, you just keep trying to convince yourself that sweetie…

I trudged down the stairs to go meet up with the rest of the Cullens for school. And I was wearing a _skirt._

I know, disgusting… But Alice made me. Sometimes, I hated that girl…

"Hey, Bella!" Speak of the devil. The evil little pixie was talking to me herself!! "So, are you ready for your big day today?" She asked me with a smirk.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll find it just _so_ entertaining…" I muttered under my breath.

"Yup! It's totally awesome!!" Alice trilled, smiling, grabbing Jasper and walking out of the house.

"Great…" I muttered, walking to the door and grabbing my purse on the way out.

"Good morning, Bella," Edward chuckled, "I haven't seen you for about 3 hours…"

"Blame Alice," I said darkly.

"Oh, don't worry, I will," He smiled and pulled an arm around my shoulders. My heart jumped in my chest, "Let's go face the horrid world full of hormonal teenagers who have no control what so ever upon themselves…" I laughed and we walked over to the Volvo.

There were 6 of us, and the Volvo only sat 5, causing Rosalie to shriek with glee at the thought of getting to drive my new car (it was the least inconspicuous, and I 'didn't' have a car yet…).

"You have _no clue_ how badly it was getting to me, having Edward constantly drive…" She gushed to me upon hearing the news. I laughed and walked over to the Volvo, pulling open the door to the passenger seat.

Alice and Jasper were…shudder… _Preoccupied_ in the back. Edward freaked when he saw them.

"Hey!! There will be _no hanky panky _**(LMAO, I love that saying….)** in the Volvo!!" Alice and Jasper pulled apart, and sensing from Edward's shudder, were planning on continuing their little 'session' later today in one of the broom closets at school.

Perverts.

Edward sped contentedly along at a nice comfortable 125 mph until we got to school. We got there early, as Edward had to 'show' me around school and I needed to get my new schedule.

Edward grabbed my hand and squeezed it comfortably walking into the main office. I know his hand-holding was only to comfort me, but it only made me more nervous.

"Mrs Cope?" Edward asked when we got in to the building. The older woman, assumingly Mrs Cope, looked up and started, splashing a little bit of hot coffee on herself. She smelled like rotten cheese, but, hey, that was just my power.

It was going to be a wonderful day.

"This is Isabella, she needs her new schedule…" He said, trailing off while she stared at us. I felt uncomfortable.

"Oh, yes… This is you sister, right? How nice to meet you dear!" She smiled, it was obviously fake, and began to shuffle through her papers.

"Actually," Edward said, "Bella is Esme's step-niece **(ok, so I changed it, ok?!? Leave me alone, I AM THE ALL POWERFUL WRITER)**… I'm not really related to her… He's just living with us for a while…" Mrs Cope's face turned pink, then stretched into a sneer/tight smile hybrid. She obviously was not pleased. It was amusing to watch Edward's reaction to all this.

"Of course, dear. Now, Isabella, you need to get all your teachers to sign this form, then come back and give it to me at the end of the day… Here's your schedule, your brother will be sure to help you find your way around school today!" She sated falsely and 'cheerily'.

"Actually, she's not my—" Edward started,

"Have a nice day now!" Mrs Cope cut him off, then turned around to her computer. Edward and I politely waited until we were out of the office to start laughing. It was probably 10 minutes until we could calmly keep a straight face for more than 5 minutes.

Alice then decided to dance over and snatched up my schedule before I had even looked at it.

"Ok, so, Bella…" Alice muttered, looking down at my schedule, "You have English and History with me, Spanish with Edward, Physics with me, and lunch with all of us, obviously, Bio with Edward and gym with….. No one… Oh, that's ok, though… Edward's going to transfer into your gym on Wednesday!" Alice laughed. "Now, come on, people are going to start to come and we need to show Bella to her locker…"

We walked over to building 5 and entered to the lockers. After that mindless task, Edward walked Alice and me over to the English building. He gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and left.

Alice was her normal bubbly self as we walked into class. I spied the English teacher, and walked over to him to give him my slip of paper.

It took him 5 minutes to manage a hello and to sign my sheet. Apparently he was nervous. I would have laughed if I wasn't so disgusted.

"Y—You may take a seat down beside Miss Cullen, Miss Platt **(If you want to know, that's Esme's maiden name, FYI…. Yes, I might possibly stalk the Lexicon… But I like to be accurate…..)**" I smiled and walked over to Alice, taking a seat down next to her. People then started to walk into class. And they like to stare.

At me.

I didn't really like to be stared at, so this was a problem. Alice giggled beside me at my obvious discomfort.

"You'll be fine… They're just interested cause you're new… And hot… Wonder how Edward's gonna react to you being asked out by nearly every guy in the school…" My eyes widened.

"_What!?!?!??!?!_" I shrieked in vampire whisper, "What are you talking about?! _Every _guy!?!? And what does Edward have to do with this!?!" I started to needlessly hyperventilate. As I said, this was going to be a wonderful day.

"Nothing… Just calm down, Bella…" Alice said in an innocent voice. I narrowed my eyes. Like _hell_ I was going to believe that it was "nothing".

Just then the English teacher began to talk about the most recent thing they were working on. _Macbeth_, excellent. I read this 5 times!! It was one of my favourite Shakespearean plays…

English was obviously trivial. And since Alice was with me almost no one approached me. Which was good. Very good. Between History and Spanish, Alice passed me off to Edward and danced away.

"How's your day?" I asked him, looking at his irritated expression.

"You have no clue how disgusted I am with 98 percent of the male population of Forks. All they seem to think of is the new girl modeling skimpy lingerie for them…" I gave him an embarrassed look, "Sorry… It's just… Well, kinda disgusting… I mean… Well, you get used to Rosalie and stuff… And well, you're different then Rosalie… Just never mind!" He looked like he would have blushed if he was human. I giggled at his expression.

We walked into Spanish and had a relatively uneventful period. Physics was boring. Who _cares_ if you're driving at the speed of light and you turn on you high-beams?! You should care that you're driving at _the speed of light_!!!!

Then came lunch. Oh my, gosh… _Lunch_.

I walked with Alice into the cafeteria, and literally, the entire place went silent. You could have heard a pin drop—even with human ears. We walked into line, Alice giggling and me biting my lip.

This senior bought my lunch and winked at me when I tried to pay. Ugh. I managed to not start to dry-heave. And this was lunch! OMC!!! I have to go into gym without any of the Cullens to protect me!! What do I do?! I was slightly panicking at the thought of gym merely, when a stupid human ran into me.

"Sorry…" He squeaked. I pitied him, so I smiled shyly at him and told him it was no problem. He sort of got this weird glazed look in his eyes, and then blurted out, "I'm in love with you! Marry me!!" I just stood there looking at him.

Alice started to giggle hysterically. "Umm… I—I—I… Oh my, gosh!!" I squeaked, then ran over to the Cullens' safe haven. Rosalie was smirking, Emmett was laughing, Jasper looked pained and Edward looked annoyed.

That one boy was the beginning. I got up to empty my tray, and when I turned around, there was a senior less than a foot away from me. He was huge. Like 6'7" huge. I was freaked out, especially when I saw this crazed look in his eye.

"You are perfect…" He breathed in this stalker-esque voice, "Perfectly exquisite…" He leaned in and inhaled, "I must simply have you for my collection…" he gave me this wack job smile, giggled, and I shuddered.

"Umm… I need to get to my table…" I side stepped him, and started to walk briskly to our table. He grabbed my arm. Damn the stupid stalker boy!!

"No!" He whimpered, "You can't leave me!!" I was really really freaked out by this point, and had no clue what to say when Edward came to the rescue.

"She said no, so go away before I make you," He growled. Creepy-Stalker-Dude sulked off. I breathed a sigh of relief and kissed Edward on the cheek. Then I started to giggle. It must have been the after shock. Edward gave me a weird look.

"Thank you, oh magnificent knight in shinning armour!" I said dramatically, trying to forget the creepy stalker dude. Edward chuckled.

"C'mon, fair maiden, we've got to get to Biology, with the evil toad, Mr Banner…" Edward chuckled, pulling me along to the Bio building. I laughed.

_This chapter sucked._

_You are all SOOOOOO lucky that I'm even posting this…. By Wednesday the storm should be over. And for being all nice and patient and non-death-threat-y I will try and reward you with like a new chapter everyday!!! There? Happy now?? Wait until WEDNESDAY. Oh, yes, and this is only the first part of this chapter. I don't even LIKE how this chapter turned out… I felt guilty for neglecting you all for a week, so I kinda just slapped it up. There, spoiled little brats who can guilt trip without even doing anything, here's your chapter!!! Oh, and sorry, probably no update on Wednesday…. I have to go to family counselling… rolls eyes_

_Xxoo_

_--Smurf_


	12. Chapter 10: Meet Mike

_Aww…. You're reviews make me all warm and fuzzy inside my cold blackened heart… I find it really amusing that this story is addictive to people… That's cool… YAY ME!!! Over 5500 hits!!! Whooooooh!!!!!!_

_Thank Carlisle. I AM DONE MY FUCKING PERSONAL PROJECT!!!!!! YAYAYAYAY!!! But still, this chapter is really pissing me off… I have so much better ideas for the story, but I have to get through this dipshit to get to them… Grr…_

_This chapter sucks. No really, it SUCKS. But, (YAY!!) next chapter has some goodies, and I'm all excited to write it, so IT SHALL BE GOOD. Honest. _

Chapter 10: Meeting Mike

_(Insert evil 'muhahaha' here)_

"Hi, Bella!" I heard an excited, annoying voice shriek out as I entered Bio with Edward. I turned around to see this kinda-creepy looking blonde boy waving ecstatically at me. He looked _vaguely _familiar…

Edward and I exchanged a look.

"Hey…" I said unenthusiastically.

"Mike!" He piped up. Right… Mike…

Was this name supposed to ring a bell with me…?

Oh, wait! I know this kid!! He totally is in my English class!! He kept on watching me even after the teacher asked him 5 times to turn around!!

"Yeah…" I said, giving Edward a small disgusted look, "Hi, Mike…"

"So, Bella…" He said, starting to bounce. Yeah, I'm not even kidding. He started to _bounce_. "Do you want to go out with me this weekend?!" He said, eyes a shining, "We can go to First Beach!!!!" He said in an obviously trying to be appealing voice.

I rolled my eyes at vampire speed.

"Sorry, Mike… I can't. I'm allergic to the sun…" He opened his mouth to say something again, but Edward interrupted him.

"Bella and I are going on a date to Seattle." Edward stated monotony.

Mike's face fell. I tried to hold in giggles.

"Wait…" He said, a confused look coming across his face, "But aren't you two brother and sister…"

"Umm… No." I said, giving him a weirded out look.

"Bella is Esme's niece." Edward stated again in a dead sounding voice.

"Yeah, sorry Mike…" I said, turning around and walking to my seat.

"Well…" Mike said, "I'll see you later!!!!"

"Great…" Edward muttered under his breath. "He's decided to follow us home from school…" I giggled.

"At least he isn't asking for a marriage proposal yet…" I giggled. Edward gave me a disgusted look.

"Yeah," He spat, "_Yet_ being the key word… Give him an hour or two…" He stated darkly.

Bio was boring. I read almost everything we were covering in a month. Mr Banner was an idiot.

Finally, it was time for gym. The class I was the most freaked about. I was alone… And I was going to be forced to wear the regulation uniform.

That meant showing skin.

Lots of leg.

And I was in a co-ed class.

With Mike.

This could not turn out good…. And Alice knew that, evil little pixie that she was.

Edward and I slowly trudged to the gymnasium, me because I didn't want to go, and Edward because he obviously heard the lustful/stalker-ish thoughts of the numerous hormonal boys.

I walked into gym. YES!!! MIKE WAS SO NOT—

"Hi Bella!!!!"

DAMMIT.

"So…So… So… You're in my gym class too!!! That's awesome!! Maybe we can be partners or something!!! Yeah? That's good!!! I'll go get our teacher!! Yeah, he's over there!!!!" All of that was followed by some spastic/flailing of his arm in a general direction where I assume the teacher was.

"Thanks, Mike…" I replied sarcastically, walking over to the teacher.

The instructor was mid-aged. Slightly balding and surprisingly muscular for his suspected age. He looked over at me, not giving my legs a second look I am proud to say, and gave me a wide smile.

"Why hello there, little lady!!" The booming mid-aged man cried to me in a slight Texan accent. "You must be Miss Isabella Swain!! Well, here, here!! Take your gym uniform and go change!! Y'all fit in to a small, right?" I nodded. Ok, so maybe this weird teacher isn't too bad… I mean, at least he can form a coherent sentence or thought around me…

I changed. That was an adventure all in itself. I mean, who doesn't love changing while feeling the angry and jealous glares of every female in the change room? And hearing the blonde whore, Lauren, whisper to Jessica Stanley, "How much do you think she's had done? I mean, like, obviously those aren't, like, _real_…"

And that wasn't even the worse. Oh, dear Lord…. The uniform was disgusting. I mean, _maroon_? Alice would have a field day with these… And I swear… The shorts were less than 10 inches long. I shuffled back out into the gym and I felt the gaze of every boy on me. Needless to say, I felt _slightly_ uncomfortable.

"Now, y'all know that we've a been workin' on a lil' bask-ee-t ball…" The teacher nodded in my direction, "So, I want y'all to warm up by workin' on yewr passes to one anothur… Now, geet yewself a partner, and warm up…" He walked away to his office, waving his hands at the cage of basket balls.

Once he left the gym, I was mauled.

"Bella!!! BELLA!!!"

"I can be your partner!!!"

"You look so hot in those shorts… BE MY PARTNER!!!!"

"I want to be your partner!!!"

I shuddered, looking desperately for an escape. I saw one in the form of a quiet girl standing near the back. I racked my memory for her name…

Alyssa… Andrea… ANGELA!!!

"Hey, Angela!!!" I cried out desperately, she looked over at me, obviously startled, "Can you be my partner?" I asked her, making my way through the throng of hormonal teenage boys.

Her eyes lit up. "Sure!"

I smiled. This girl genuinely seemed nice. Maybe gym class won't be so bad after all.

After making my way through the devastating gym class, I finally got to go home. Ha, I'm referring to the Cullen house as 'home' now…

Crap, crap, crap!!!

Bad, Bella!! No!! Don't think of home!! You're going to get all teary eyed and crap…

Ok, all good…

"Hello, Bella," Edward said cautiously as he walked up to me, "Are you ok… You kinda looked like you were arguing with yourself there…" I smiled at him

"Nope, no crazies here except for you!!" I laughed and ran towards the Volvo.

_Ugh. I hate this chapter. BUT!!! Guess what!??!?!?! INTERESTING STUFF STARTS HAPPENING IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!! Isn't that AWESOME?!?!?! Yes, yes… There will start to be some romantic dilemmas/inklings in the next few chappies. Ok, so, according to my calculations (Lmao, Magic School Bus…) in about 3 chapters or so Bella and Edward will get…ahem… Together. There. Be all happy and crap._

_I'm tired. Heehee… I still got homework to do… Another chapter should be up tomorrow (HALF DAY, WHOOT WHOOT!!!)before you dudes get home from school and blah blah blah…_

_Ciao_

_Xxoo_

_--Smurf_


	13. Chapter 11: Changes

_I'm sorry. This has been a shit week. Ugh. I got a puppy, though!_

Chapter 11: Changes

I had been at school for 4 months now.

A lot had changed, yet nothing had.

Rosalie was growing distant towards me… She acted almost sometimes like she hated me.

And I didn't know why. We were friends one day, then the next she seemed to dislike me for some reason. I couldn't figure out what it was for…

I tried asking Alice about it, but she would just sigh and shake her head. I learned to just stop asking.

Emmett, too, because of Rosalie's sudden dislike towards me, wasn't his usual overbearing self.

Something had changed in the balance of the Cullen household, something big yet subtle, and it had completely changed everyone.

Everyone but Edward.

He was still my best friend and sole confident. Well, I told him as much as anyone could tell someone that they were in love with them without telling them. That didn't make sense, did it? Well… Whatever.

All the Cullens were different around me. Anyone else wouldn't have been able to pick it up, but I did.

It started out as small things. The way they sat near me when I watched TV… How they didn't always meet my gaze when I was laughing at something at school.

Things slowly progressed into others. The uncomfortable silences when I was searching for a book in Jasper's study. How Esme would smile at me when I got home from school, not rush over and envelope me in a hug like she used to. It was things like this that slowly accumulated over the hours, which soon spilled into days.

Every slight turn from me on the couch, every missed hug, every uncomfortable silence soon added up.

Maybe I was being paranoid… Other that the wee little things, everyone was perfectly fine around me. There were only little things.

Small things, yet huge.

Thus, was my dilemma.

It was 2 months since these changes started to become noticeable to me.

It has been a month since I started to pull away, slowly, but surely, pull away from the Cullens.

A month of Esme asking me in a concerned tone, "What ever is the matter, sweetheart?", and a month of Edward giving me strange looks whenever he thought I wasn't looking.

Things were just falling apart. For one of the countless times in my life, or lack of one, I felt unwanted.

Abandoned. Alone.

I felt as if I was just now becoming an incontinence to the Cullens. And I couldn't do that after all they had done for me. I mean, they had taken me in, befriended me. And now I had over stayed my welcome some how.

There was one thing I wanted, and only one thing:

To go home.

I wanted my Kate, Eleazar, Irina, Tanya and Carmen. I wanted to go to the odd conventions or random places with them. I wanted my light blue, almost white, bedroom with the piles of teetering books. I wanted the taste of moose. I wanted to see the stars in a perfectly clear night in the middle of my clearing. I wanted to be in my home.

Of all the feelings I felt, they slowly gained momentum. Almost every hour was spent with a part of me _yearning_ to be in my home.

I was sitting in the woods near the top of the Olympic mountain range. This was my spot. I like to go here recently rather than to Edward's meadow. I didn't want to go there and make him feel like I was intruding. I didn't need the last non-weird Cullen going weird on me.

I was watching clouds and the wind rustle the tips of the trees when I saw her enter my small clearing.

Rosalie.

My heart leapt slightly; maybe she was coming to talk to me! Or maybe I could figure out why she started to dislike me so much lately! Maybe I would finally make everything go back to normal…

"Hello, Bella," Rosalie said softly as she approached me. I smiled at her, and her expression turned sour.

"Hey, Rosalie! Do you want anything?" I asked breezily, smiling softly at her.

"Actually, yes I did... I needed to talk with you…" She stated demurely. I smiled at her, and she took that as her cue to continue. "I wanted to talk to you about how things have been going at home," She smiled, and I started to become confused, "You see… Things have been feeling a bit… off? You know?" I nodded; I knew _exactly_ what she was talking about.

"So, I was trying to figure out what it was!" Rosalie threw herself back and lay down near to me in the tall grass, "I mean… Esme has been a little odd, everyone is… I don't know, almost _tense_ when everyone else was around… And so I started to wonder _why_… Because, obviously, they aren't like this all the time. So then I got to thinking, and I figured it out!" She shot up in the grass and turned to me, "I figure out what it was!"

She laughed slightly, then became serious, "It was _you_."

I felt confusion and hurt cross my face, feeling slightly disappointed that it wasn't just all in my head. That other people had been noticing this as well.

"I thought things were weird… I mean… I thought it was just me who noticed this though…" I said to myself, Rosalie smiled apolitically at me and nodded sympathetically.

"Don't worry, Bella… I mean, you shouldn't have ruined the family _that_ much… I mean, everyone's just getting used to you… Alice and Jasper caused this too when they came…" She said, patting my hand a little bit, then her face fell and became thoughtful, "Though…" She muttered to herself, "They only took a _week_ to get used to… Not 2 months…" My face fell. I could feel the hurt and loneliness overwhelming and consuming me.

Rosalie continued muttering aloud to herself, "It's probably because Jasper and Alice belonged, and weren't sent here as an experiment to their other families…"

My face fell. The abandonment rushed in. I didn't belong anywhere. I was truly all alone. The only reason I was here was because my family didn't want me.

Rosalie looked over at me, and her face broke out into shock, "Oh, Bella! I'm so, so, so sorry!!! I really didn't mean that!! I was just thinking aloud!!!" She rushed on, trying to make up for her words that had completely ruined all that Kate, Irina and Carmen had worked on for months to convince me otherwise. The words that had completely brought back up my abandonment issues and ruined the reassuring feeling that my family had worked so hard to make with me.

"No, no, Bella!" Rosalie cried upon seeing my face, "I didn't mean it like that! Of course the Denali clan loves you! They just wanted you to feel like you could associate with people slightly more your age… It has nothing to do with _them_!!!" Of course I knew what she was implying, however.

The Cullens, in short terms, hated me. They wanted me gone. I was intruding upon their perfectly sorted out lives and the only reason they had made an effort for me to feel welcome was purely in favor to my real family. I was crushed.

"Oh, Gosh…" Rosalie said, holding her head in her hands, "I feel so bad…" She slowly started to shake, starting to dry sob.

"Rosalie, it's not your fault…" I stated in a dead sounding voice. I was numb at the moment.

She looked up, her eyes shining with unshed tears, "Really?"

"Yes," I gave her a mechanical smile, "Now, can you please leave? I just want to be alone…" I stated calmly. She nodded, and ran out of my clearing.

_Ok. Next chapter's gonna be up in like 20 minutes if it's not already up._

_A bien tot_

_Xxoo_

_--Smurf_


	14. Chapter 12: Phone Calls

_Sorry... I just wanna add... Some of you may be a wee bit confused. Ok, Rosalie totally knew what she was doing when she told Bella that. She was being a bitch. But, we'll get to that later. Maybe in like a chapter of two. If you really really want to know, go onto the Lexicon or Stephenie Meyer's FAQ page for one of the three books... it describes there why Rosalie dislikes Bella, and I want to keep her as in character as possible..._

Chapter 12: Phone Calls

After Rosalie left, I made my decision.

I was going home.

I needed to get away from here.

I didn't know what else to do. So, hurt and alone, I ran.

I didn't want to risk taking my car, just in case that someone saw me and stopped me to try and make me stay out of guilt. I couldn't deal with that on top of everything else I was feeling. I left without a trace or goodbye. I left everything and just ran.

It took me about 2 hours to run back up to Alaska.

When I finally saw my home, I broke down into dry sobs, causing Carmen to run out of the house in a worried state.

"Who is there?!" She shouted before spotting me, "Isabella!! Whatever are you doing here?? I thought you were staying with the Cullens for another 5 months!" She pulled me into her arms, "What ever is the matter, my sweet?"

"I—I—I…" Was all I could get out between my sobs. Carmen patiently stood there, stroking my hair and patting my head until I could vaguely explain.

"I felt so…. I don't know! Everything was fine for the first months, and then it fell apart somehow!!! I don't know!!!" I cried, "Everyone hates me for some reason, they're all acting weird around me… And I just feel like I'm intruding or something… Like they all don't want me to be there….!!" I wailed in a tone so heart wrenching, I didn't really sound like a spoiled brat. All of my pain and aloneness was finally seeping out and I finally felt like I was getting better.

Like I _belonged _here.

"My poor chick…" Carmen said softly, pulling me into the house where the rest of my family was waiting. My family. _This_ is where I belonged. Not with the Cullens… Not in some school. I felt finally _happy_ for the first time in 2 months.

I spent the next 20 minutes with my sisters on the couch dry sobbing and them taking turns hugging me and petting my hair. I felt like for one of the first times in months that the air was suddenly clear of malice and discomfort. I slowly told a broken, sobbing almost incoherent version my tale, of how I felt for the past few months.

I felt bad for my family. I didn't need to be Jasper to feel the guilt pooling off of them in waves. After I had spent 15 minutes trying to tell my tale unsuccessfully, Eleazar quietly got up and walked to his office.

I could here what he was doing from the sitting room. His office was on the 3rd floor.

"Hello, Forks Hospital. How many I help you?"

"Hello, may I please be connected through to Dr Cullen?" I heard Eleazar ask quietly. Not good. He was always this quiet before he was about to explode.

"I'll connect you through," The receptionist said in a bored voice. There was a low buzzing noise, indicating that Eleazar was being connected through.

"Hello?" Carlisle's slight British accent rang through the phone.

"Hello, Carlisle," Eleazar stated calmly.

"Eleazar! I haven't talked to you for a month! How are things up in Alaska?" Carlisle asked, sounding delighted at the sudden phone call.

"Things are well, but that is not the reason I am calling."

"Oh, well… What do you need me to do?" Carlisle asked, confusion coloring his tone slightly.

"I need you to tell me what the hell happened!!" Eleazar bellowed out.

"What in heaven's name are you talking about?!" Carlisle exclaimed.

"Bella, Carlisle! What the hell happened to Bella?! She showed up on our doorstep less than 20 minutes ago sobbing!" Eleazar bellowed in a voice I had never heard him use, and that included the time he had caught some boy trying to hit on me. "In all the times I have known her the only times she as cried is when she found Kate and when she thought we were forcing her to leave! _What the hell did you do to my girl? Or should I be really asking, what the hell did your _son_ do to my _daughter" Eleazar stated in a voice that turned menacingly low. I tuned out the rest of the conversation and got up from the couch and walked to my room.

I stayed in there for a few hours. I was reading, and Kate and Tanya were taking turns coming in and sitting with my head in their lap as I read.

At about 5:30 in the afternoon, I decided I needed to go hunt. I told Carmen, who decided to sit with me then, that I was going out hunting.

"Are you sure, sweetheart? Do you want one of us to come with you?" She asked me in the same calm, reassuring and loving voice they had used on me when I had first started living with them. When I almost needed someone in the room at all times to ensure that I wasn't dreaming up them.

"No, Carmen," I smiled at her reassuringly, "I'll be fine… I just need to think, you know? Clear my head a little?" She nodded understandingly. I smiled, and walked to the door and out into the crisp, clear Alaskan February night. It was quite refreshing, and I felt at peace for one of the first times in a while.

Yet, somehow, I felt as if a part of me was missing. Forks may have been hell at the end, but I felt like I left something behind there when I left. I shrugged it off, and ran off to hunt.

I took my time to find the perfect moose. I found him, then looked for a mountain lion. I was out for a few hours; it was maybe 8-o'clock-ish until I felt someone approaching.

It was probably Tanya, I concluded. She never managed to learn the fine art of leaving people alone when they needed to think. I continued humming to myself and continued to leisurely walk along an old abandoned mountain trail.

"Why did you leave?" I heard an angry and hurt voice say behind me.

I jumped.

That was _defiantly not _Tanya. I whipped around to see a hurt looking Edward standing behind me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked in a confused voice.

He ignored my question as I had ignored his, "Why did you leave? You didn't even say goodbye! I came home looking for you, needing to tell you something, to find you gone! I then had to have Carlisle explain to me, livid as I have ever seen him in my existence, and that is including the time Emmett yelled at Esme and made her cry, that you had left.

"Then he told me that he had gotten a furious telephone call from Eleazar, who he had never before heard raise his voice. He told me that Eleazar called demanding to know why you showed up on their doorstep dry sobbing barely able to even explain what had happened!" Edward's look became angry and urgent again.

"Tell me!" He demanded, "Tell me why, Bella!! Tell me why you left without even saying goodbye!! Do you realize how much that hurt me?"

I started to dry sob all over again.

"You don't have to pretend that you care…Don't lie to me!" I shouted, "You are free of you guilt, I know how much I've upset your family in the past few months… I'm sorry for intruding…" Edward opened his mouth to say something, his face thoroughly confused, but I continued on, "You know, you could have just asked me to leave! I would have left… I've lived alone to know what to do—"

"Bella!" Edward shouted, grabbing me by my arms, "What are you taking about?! 'Unwanted'?! That is the furthest thing from the truth!"

I gave Edward a confused look.

"But… Rosalie… And the awkward silences… And the…" I trailed off, thoroughly confused, Edward smiled slightly and shook his head, pulling me into his arms.

"Bella, Bella, Bella… _My_ Bella…" Edward sighed, "The reason everything was so weird was because my family didn't want to let anything slip…" Edward drew back from me slightly so he could look into my eyes, "Bella… Why would I want to you leave? Isabella Swan… I love you," And without a second more, he pulled me in closer and he kissed me. And I mean he _really _kissed me.

So, knowing nothing else to do, I kissed him back.

I had no clue what I was doing, so I tried to follow his lead and moved by instinct.

He drew me closer, his lips moving rhythmically against mine. His arms tightened possessively around my waist and I snaked my arms up around his neck. I wound my fingers in his hair and pulled him closer to me. His lips were moving softly against mine, and were slowly becoming more demanding.

I didn't care.

It was the best moment of my life.

He separated his lips from mine, and whispered into my ear, "You have _no clue _how long I have been waiting to do that…" I smiled, and he pulled away farther.

Breathlessly, I replied back, "I love you, too. You have no clue how long _I_ have waited to say that…"

He gave me a smile so bright I thought that the entire world was illuminated. He leaned back down to my face and reclaimed my lips.

He nipped at my lower lip, and started to kiss the corners of my mouth, and slowly started to move down to my jaw and across my neck.

We stood like that for hours, and this was one of the only times I was truly happy that I couldn't sleep.

_Low whistle There was so much sap drippin' off of that last part we could be making maple syrup here… There, are you all happy now? Bella and Edward, finally together. Yay!!! Next chapter should (hopefully) be coming out soon. Let's all cross our fingers that Smurf is not busy tomorrow so we can get a new chapter, shall we?_

_Xxoo_

_--Smurf_


	15. Sorry, Explanation to the confused

_Some of you guys seem a wee bit confused about the whole why Rosalie did that to Bella and why she hates her all of a sudden. OK!!! Time to explain!!! OK, so as you all know, Rosalie in the book doesn't like Bella because she is 'throwing away her life' to get changed. That's not all of it. Rosalie also doesn't like Bella for another reason. _

_Rosalie is used to every single guy throwing themselves at her feet. She _likes _when guys do that(don't get her wrong, she loves Emmett and she doesn't want to be with someone else, she just likes getting attention from random guys because it makes her feel good. Don't let be get into the possible psychological reasons for this…). She is vain, and she totally knows that. _

_Along comes Edward. When she meets him, he doesn't even give her a second look. She's kinda bugged at first, but gets over it because Edward doesn't look at _anyone_ twice (coughthinks-he's-gaycough). So, she is content with that. _

_Along comes Bella. A weak, clumsy human who Edward wants to kill, no less. She captures Edward's attention. Edward gives her a second look. Rosalie is jealous._

_Short explanation: Rosalie dislikes Bella because Edward thinks she's gorgeous, but not Rosalie. Rosalie doesn't want Edward to want her in that way, she just wants him to look at her in that way._

_Does that even make any sense? _

_Well, if that helped good._

_All of that came from the mouth of Stephenie Meyer at her Toronto book signing. _


	16. Chapter 13: Gone

_Heehee… Cause I really wanted to…. And I have no clue where to go from here…. I mean, I have an idea, a vague inkling of an idea, but other than that, nada. Sorry…Rambling…._

Chapter 13: (Chapter 12 ½) Gone

_EPOV_

I walked quickly towards the house.

Ok, deep breaths… Deep breaths…

Today was the day. I was telling Bella.

Alice was annoyed that I had waited this long… She said she couldn't really talk as much with Bella with her cluttered conscience, and Bella was her best friend. Everyone had to tiptoe around Bella lately, and they hated that. Bella was family to them. Even if she was considered 'borrowed' from the Denali clan.

But that didn't matter. She was mine. In my opinion. To me. But she _should_ be officially… Hopefully… Soon…

Argh! This was so difficult! And it would help if I could at least hear what she was thinking! I mean, _really_ thinking. No editing.

She seemed so sad lately. I should take her back up to Denali for this weekend… Maybe she's homesick? Yes, that's probably it. She was acting distant to all of us. Even me.

I walked closer to the house.

_Where did she go?!_

_Hmph. Finally. _

_Hmmm…. I wonder what's Bella's opinion about this… What? Did Alice really just say that?! Oh, Edward if you can hear this, I'm so sorry…_

_Why?! Why would one of my babies just leave?!_

_I wonder if Rose had anything to do about this…_

_What is going on around here?! What did Eleazar mean?! I have never heard him that angry about something before… _

What was going on? Who left?

"What's going on?" I asked when I ran into the house. Esme was sitting hunched over on the couch sobbing, and Alice was staring blankly at the wall, one of her visions running through her head.

_Bella was sobbing on the ground outside the house in Denali. _

"_Who is there?!" Carmen asked, running out of the house, "Isabella! What ever are you doing here? I thought you were staying with the Cullens for another 5 months! What ever is the matter my sweet?" She asked as she pulled her into a hug. _

_Bella continued to sob tearless, trying to get out a word. Nothing came out but some stuttering and incoherent sobs. The words "Intruding" and "Don't want me to be there" were wailed and Bella was pulled into the house. Tanya, Irina, Eleazar and Kate were waiting inside with anxious looks on their faces. Carmen quickly explained, and the guilt was evident. _

_In the middle of the throng, Eleazar got up and walked up some stairs. A few moments later, the words "Forks Hospital, how may I help you?" Were heard._

It hit me like a speeding freight train.

My Bella was gone.

Back to Denali.

And she didn't even say goodbye. That's what hurt me the most.

She just left.

My Bella.

My poor, sweet heartbroken Bella. What ever happened to her? Who did this to her?! They will surely pay.

I looked over at Alice; silently asking her if this was set in stone.

_It happened about a half an hour ago. That's when Eleazar called Carlisle._

"Carlisle?" I asked him, causing him to look over at me. His eyes were ablaze with some type of anger I had never seen in them.

"Bella showed up in Denali about an hour ago a complete mess. She was sobbing every where, they were barely able to understand her. They only heard snippets if what she was trying to say. So, Eleazar called me, demanding to know what we did to his daughter. He somehow thinks you had something to do with this. Did you, Edward?" Carlisle demanded, eyes ablaze.

No… He really didn't think that… _I_ had anything to do about Bella showing up in Denali in that condition?

_Heh… He's getting blamed for what I did…_ I heard Rosalie's amused voice.

"What did you do?" I growled at her, causing her to smirk.

"What?" Carlisle asked, confused, "What did Rosalie…" It dawned on him, "Rosalie." He growled, "What did you say to Bella?"

"Nothing…" Rosalie stated innocently.

I couldn't take this anymore. I needed to go.

I needed to go see _her_. I needed my Bella.

With anger driving me, I ran faster then I ever had to Alaska.

To my Bella.

I ran for about an hour and a half until I caught her lovely scent. The faint smell of flowers—freesia and lavender—and the chemicals and artificial smell of her strawberry scented shampoo. I ran towards that smell as fast as I could with only the intent of seeing my Bella in my mind.

I broke through a line of trees and saw her.

My beautiful Bella.

She was walking down an old hiking path, her hands skimming the tops of the grasses. She was humming a song from one of my favourite bands, and she swayed her hips in a slight, yet seductive, way.

"Why did you leave?" I asked, anger at Rosalie and hurt coloring my tone.

Bella gasped slightly, and twirled around.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, a hand flying up to her deliciously pale throat. I tried to ignore her throat and concentrate on my unanswered question.

"Why did you leave? You didn't even say goodbye! I came home looking for you, needing to tell you something, to find you gone! I then had to have Carlisle explain to me, livid as I have ever seen him in my existence, and that is including the time Emmett yelled at Esme and made her cry, that you had left.

"Then he told me that he had gotten a furious telephone call from Eleazar, who he had never before heard raise his voice. He told me that Eleazar called demanding to know why you showed up on their doorstep dry sobbing barely able to even explain what had happened!" I became urgent, desperate, trying to figure out just what exactly had been said by Rosalie.

"Tell me!" I demanded, "Tell me why, Bella!! Tell me why you left without even saying goodbye!! Do you realize how much that hurt me?"

Bella began to dry sob, completely wrenching out my un-beating heart.

"You don't have to pretend that you care…Don't lie to me!" She shouted at me, completely taking me by surprise, "You are free of your guilt, I know how much I've upset your family in the past few months… I'm sorry for intruding…" I opened my mouth to protest, she had everything wrong! Now I really wanted to know what Rosalie said to her… But she held up one finger to stop me. "You know, you could have just asked me to leave! I would have left… I've lived alone to know what to do—"

I finally cut her off. I was tired of hearing all the doubts that Rosalie had placed into her head.

"Bella!" I shouted, grabbing my Bella by her arms so I could at least _touch_ her and get it through her stubborn head that she _was_ wanted, "What are you taking about?! 'Unwanted'?! That is the furthest thing from the truth!"

She gave me a confused look.

"But… Rosalie… And the awkward silences… And the…" She trailed off, thoroughly confused, I smiled slightly and shook my head; I pulled her into my arms, unable to resist the urge any longer. I wanted to hold her all the time, every hour of the day from now until forever.

"Bella, Bella, Bella… _My_ Bella…" I sighed, internally revelling in my use of 'my', "The reason everything was so weird was because my family didn't want to let anything slip…" I drew back from her slightly so I could look into her beautiful topaz eyes, "Bella… Why would I want to you leave? Isabella Swan… I love you," I whispered, the words unable to be held back any longer.

And, without being able to resist any longer, I pulled her flush against me and pressed my lips to hers. I put a little but more pressure on her lips and felt as they started to move against mine.

She wasn't pulling back! Did this mean… That she loved me too?!

I moved my lips against hers more, starting to become more urgent as I poured all my longing and want of the past years into the kiss. After I was sufficiently satisfied, as if I would ever be with my Bella, I moved my lips from hers and whispered into her ear.

"You have _no clue_ how long I been waiting to do that…" I breathed into her ear. She smiled and whispered back.

"I love you too…" My heart sang. It felt as if it had started to beat again… _She loved me_. _ME_. She could have anyone in the world, and she picked _me_. I was so happy I almost missed her teasing remark of, "You have no clue how long _I_ have waited to say that…"

I laughed breathlessly, and felt a pain deep in my stomach roaring that my lips had left my mate for far too long. I leaned down and kissed both corners of Bella's mouth, allowing my lips to travel down and to her throat that I had fanaticised for so long about.

Never had I felt as complete as I did now.

_There. Yay!! Another update._

_I have no clue what I'm doing next. I have inklings of what I want to do, but nothing else. Suggestions would be loverly._

_Xxoo_

_--Smurf_


	17. Ahh Dreaded AN and some Poor Excuses

Sorry guys. Not an update. I just want to tell you how sorry I am for the lack of updates. I don't want to make excuses, but I HAVE THEM ANYWAYS!!!

1) I am in mourning. For Edward. Guess who they cast as him??? HMMM?!??! UGH!!! ROBERT PATTINSON. AKA CEDRIC FUCKING DIGGORY. Hmm…. I never read in Twilight that Edward was a pansy… Or British… Or NOT hot… OMC. Sorry…. I REALLY REALLY REALLY HATE THIS. Here's the url if you really don't want to believe this, because SM's website is spazzing, as is the Lexicon.

Writer's block. Sorry… But I've having it. Every new chapter I starts reads like total crap to me.

3) Kinda stressed out. I have museum projects, history tests, ISP essays, political campaigns and many, many, many other things due. And on top of that, my regular joe homework.

4) I got a new puppy, and she's a handful. So… When I even get TIME to sit down and write, she starts acting up and jumping on me.

So, I'm really, really, really sorry. I'm trying, I really am. I'm really trying to get something decent out for the weekend.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry,

Xxoo

--Smurf


	18. Chapter 14: Telling

_I feel bad. Really really bad… I mean… I promised updates. And then I don't update. –Sob!- I'm turning into one of the writers I despise!! The ones where they slowly stop updating and discontinue the story!! _

Chapter 14: Telling

Edward and I were running back home after our little—ahem—_make up_ session…

Edward smiled as he grabbed hold of my hand and started to rub small circles in it. I gratefully smiled at him, and gave him a peck on the cheek as we walked in to the house through the front door.

"Bella…" Irina's smooth voice fluttered over to us as she walked leisurely to the front hall, "Who is your little friend you have there…" She was getting closer, "They smell familiar…" Irina stopped and stared as she rounded the corner revealing Edward standing there. "Oh my…" She breathed, then turned towards the staircase, "Everyone, can you please come down here? I think Bella has something to tell us…" She finished with a smirk at me. I gulped.

Crap! I totally forgot about Eleazar and what he would do to Edward! I nibbled on my lip as I contemplated what would happen to Edward…

"You look cute like that," Edward breathed into my ear, which would have caused me to blush if I was human. Damn him! He was making this so much harder than it should be!!

"Irina!" I heard Kate's concerned voice float down, "Bella's back? And she wants to talk to us about something! What is going o—" Kate rounded the corner into the front hall, her eyes widening as she saw how Edward and I were standing, "Oh my, goodness…" She breathed, still not being able to process the picture. While she was gawking, Tanya came around the corner and stopped when she saw us. Her eyes widened, and her face broke out into a vicious smirk.

Carmen and Eleazar were last to wander downstairs. Carmen was whispering something into Eleazar's ear, and immediately stopped when she saw us. Eleazar looked over, and narrowed his eyes.

Eleazar ran out of Carmen's embrace and grabbed Edward by the back of his neck, crushing his windpipe and choking him if he was human. Eleazar slammed Edward up against the front wall and seethed to him, _"Just what in the hell do you think you are doing with my daughter?"_

I paled, and Edward gulped. Eleazar bared his teeth as Edward, "I said, _what are you doing with my Bella?_ Have you not put her through enough pain? Now you need to come back here and _mock her_???" Ok, now it was time for stepping in.

"Eleazar," I said, walking over to him and gently pulling at his arm which was pinning Edward against the wall. "Eleazar!" I shouted and ripped his arm away from Edward, "Let us explain!" Eleazar looked reproachfully at me, and growled slightly to Edward. He looked like if he was human he would have crapped himself… I pulled him gently into the living room and sat him down on one of the couches. Everyone else followed suit, and took seats. Edward and I sat down on a loveseat and I took a deep breath. I opened my mouth to start talking, but Edward started first.

"I know you aren't the most thrilled with me being here… But I love Bella, and where ever she goes, I go." I was speechless after this, Edward continued on, "What Bella was under was a misunderstanding… I fell in love with her when I first saw her, but I was worried that she didn't' love me… So I played the best friend role. Anything to just _be _around her… Alice, of course, knew about it, and told me I should do something about it. I didn't want to ruin our friendship, so I just left it. After a while everyone knew, and they were trying so hard to not let anything slip…"

Edward turned to me with a small smile, "_That_ is why everyone was acting like walking over eggshells around you…" Edward turned back to everyone else, "So when Bella ran away was the day I was going to tell her…" He chuckled darkly, "Look at my surprise that the day I was going to tell the woman I loved her that I _did_ love her she ran away… Then to find out what Rosalie did…" Edward muttered darkly. I placed my hand on his arm in attempts to calm him. He smiled at me and took a deep breath.

"So you love her?" Irina asked Edward.

"Will every fibre of my being and then some," Edward said seriously.

"And you, Bella? Do you love him?" Irina asked me seriously.

I smiled, "With all my heart."

Irina smiled cheerily, "Well then! I'm glad that's all sorted out!" She clapped her hands together.

"Isabella," Carmen said sensibly, "What are you two going to do now? Are you going back to Forks? You may stay here as well, if you wish,"

I looked at Edward and shyly smiled, "I wouldn't mind going back to Forks… I mean, there is the school year left to finish… And I need to fix the damage I've created…" I whispered to myself.

Edward kissed my temple, Eleazar gave him a dirty look, "We can go back to Forks for the rest of the school year, and then go from there?" He asked me. I smiled and nodded.

"Well! That is all settled! Bueno!" Carmen rose from the couch.

My family was suprising me… I was expecting to act differently then this… Unless… "Alice…" I breathed.

Alice had seen this and called my family. Alice had told them everything they needed to know… Evil little pixie. But, I have to admit… It _did_ come in handy in times like these.

Edward's cell phone rang and he passed it to me.

"Hello?" I said, not even bothering to check the caller ID. It was Alice.

"Bella! I'm so, so, so, so, so SORRY!!! I didn't want to tell you!! Please, please, please forgive me!! I won't take you out shopping this week if you do…" She whispered seductively.

Dammit.

She had me.

And she knew it.

"Fine." I haughtily replied.

"YAY!!" Alice cried excitedly. "Now you two can come home! Oh, and don't worry, Bella! I told everyone to not try and apologise, cause I knew it would bother you…" I smiled.

"Thank you, evil little pixie…" Alice chuckled.

"Your welcome. Now come home. Things are boring and mopey around here. Everyone's down in the dumps, which means my Jazzy is too," Alice stated, the pout being heard even on my end of the line, "And I so wanted to try out my new costume for him too!" She whined. I cringed.

"Gosh! Alice!!" I cried, still cringing to everyone's amusement, "VISUALS!!!" I snapped the phone closed and continued to cringe. Edward looked sick, and everyone else smiled widely.

Except Eleazar.

"Edward, may I please see you in my study?" He called out, rising from the couch and walking towards the stairs. I gave Edward a sympathetic smile and motioned him to follow Eleazar. Edward gave me a peck on the cheek, gave me a shaky smile, and followed Eleazar upstairs.

"So… Bella." Tanya spun out silkily. Oh crap. "How was he? Excellent catch, if I do say so myself…" She gave me a wicked smile. I gulped, not saying anything.

"Yes, Bella!" Kate cried out excitedly, "Do tell! What happened?!" Kate waggled her eyebrows at me suggestively. I hung my head in my heads and just continued to shake it back and forth.

"Bella!!!" Irina cried out in a sing-songy voice. Great… Now she was joining her sisters in their mocking fun. "Tell us! Tell us!! Tell us!!!" Great, now they had all started chanting.

Maybe it was a good thing I was going to be living in Forks and not here with my family…

And besides, the Cullens were my family now too!

Right?

_OK. To compensate for my lack of updating-ness, I am going to write you all a SPECIAL BONUS CHAPTER!!! (you're supposed to gasp and cheer now, dammit!) I just want to know, should I post it separately, or with the rest of this story? Please tell me, and I will post it. _

_Don't worry, I'm back in my writing groove now. I just have my English essay which is worth 8 per cent of my mark, and then Christmas holidays!! YAY!!! -cheers-_

_OKOK. _

_AND what do you guys think about CEDRIC playing Edward?? I cried. Literally, cried for like 15 minutes. _

_So, now that they have officially ruined the movie (in my opinion) who do you all think they are going to get to play the other character? I swear, if they do not get a decent Jasper or Alice, I am not going at all. And I will cry. A lot._

_I mean, I'm going to see it. But to mock it. My friend Harry (from our other account, Twilight Fan Girls…) and I are going and are going to scream out "MY BOY!!! THAT'S MY BOY!!!" during one of the sappy parts. Hee Hee. Cause, that's our favourite part to laugh at during the 4__th__ Harry Potter…. _

_Sorry. Rambling._

_OK!!! _

_Update you all laterrrr…._

_And I would like to thank all the people who continue to read this story!!! I mean, ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY-FOUR (yes, __**164**__) reviews. That is AWESOME!!! And… THIRTEEN __**THOUSAND**__ ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-SEVEN (yes, __**13, 137) **__hits?!?!?!? _

_I love you ALL!!!!!_

_Xxxooo_

_--Smurf_


	19. Bonus for the non violence!

_Hello my sugar muffins. I promised you this, and it also gives you a small look into my version of Rosalie!! YAY!! Two birds with one stone!! And for the people who thought this was going to be a lemon/lime…. No. Bella and Edward have not 'done it' yet. And if they did, I am not gonna be writin' about it. If you really want to, write it yourself. _

**(I'm trying to get into Rosalie's insecurities here, so don't tell me that I'm going to harsh on her… This is how I feel that Rosalie feels about herself most of the time when she lets down her walls…)**

Bonus Chapter!!! (RPOV)

Why her? I mean, yeah, sure, she was _slightly_ pretty, but really… She was _nothing_ compared to me. Right…?

He wouldn't even give me a second glance, and then _she _comes along and all of a sudden he's all over her. _Why_?

Am I not pretty enough? I thought he was _gay_… That would have been fine with me… I was actually hoping he was gay, then that would explain his lack of interest, but evidently he's not.

And he likes her.

Plain, boring Isabella Swan.

And the horrible thing was, I felt _guilty_ about disliking her!! Why did she have to be so sweet? And why did we have to become friends before I started feeling this way?!

I realise that my dislike and anger is completely irrational… But I can't _help _it!! I mean, _every guy_ looks twice at me! It's just my gift. Every guy looks at me twice, usually cat-calls or wolf-whistles and makes a comment about 'tapping that'. I mean, sure it was slightly repugnant, but it made me feel _noticed_.

Alice was noticed because of her midget-ness and her insane 'perky-on-crack' personality.

Jasper because he was so tall and had his whole brooding movie-star look (as he was really repeating in his head 'don't kill the humans, don't kill the humans').

Emmett for his brawn. His sexy, sexy muscles.

Edward for his moody death glare and 'dashing good looks', and it didn't help that he was the only non-taken member of the family.

Esme was known for her kindness.

Carlisle his compassion.

Me, my beauty.

But Edward didn't notice it.

He didn't even _acknowledge_ it!!!

Don't get me wrong, I love Emmett. He is the love of my life. I got lucky with him. But… I like it when other men notice my beauty. I know I'm not smart or don't have a great personality, so they _need _to notice my looks. My looks are one of the only things going for me!!

Well… That's not what Alice said the one time I was crazy enough to confide this in her, but still. I don't care what Alice thinks. She was probably just trying to cheer me up.

This is why I love Emmett. He tried hard enough to get in. He knows about how I truly feel, and he accepts me. He loves me not for my beauty, but for my personality. He loves every part of me just the way that I am.

But I feel like nothing will draw anyone else to me but my looks.

Like I'm a rotten apple surrounded by a shiny, promising red skin.

I have nothing to offer except for a promise of a beautiful trophy.

So, I _love_ it when people notice and acknowledge my beauty. It makes me feel like I'm important.

But Edward _didn't_.

But, Edward didn't acknowledge _anyone_.

So I let his little 'No-Rosalie-I-do-not-think-you're-ravishingly-beautiful' act slide. If _I _couldn't get him to look twice at me, no one could.

But then _she_ came.

At first everything was fine. I liked Bella, she's a sweet girl. Who wouldn't like Bella? But that was the problem…

_Edward_ liked Bella.

He looked at her twice.

And when he did, I felt my entire world shift.

I mean… Really. There really is nothing special about little, Isabella Swan. She is sweet, but honestly, not that pretty.

So why did he look at her twice then?!

Why did he like _her_ and not _me_?!?!

I admit it. I was jealous.

Still am. I mean, my one fail-safe quality…

_Failed_.

Does this make me…

Worthless?

I mean, I have nothing to offer other than my beauty, right?

I can't believe that I started to hate her.

She was destroying my confidence.

She was shattering my carefully built up universe.

And I couldn't stop it.

So… I did the only thing I could.

I eliminated the problem before she eliminated me.

I mean… It was right to do that, right?

I went up to Bella when she was alone, and feeling pretty crappy already.

I walked closer to her, my plan and carefully worded script running through my head. I started to feel the guilt… It wouldn't go away! But, I just kept on repeating to myself, if Bella goes, then everything goes back to normal. You go back to normal, and no one will notice that you are really worthless.

"Hello, Bella," I whispered softly, last minute doubts being swiftly squashed in my mind.

Bella, Lord bless her, smiled sweetly at me and asked me what was up.

Oh, God, this was going to be so difficult… My expression turned sour at the thought of what I was about to do to this naïve innocent girl…

No, Rose!

Stay strong! This girl is ruining your life right now! You need to get her out before you completely break down!

So, taking a deep breath that Bella wouldn't notice, I continued with my plan.

"Actually… Yes. There was something I wanted to talk about with you…" I managed to choke out, looking down not wanting to see her innocent face that I was about to destroy.

"I wanted to talk to you about how things have been going on at home," I managed to get out smoothly. So far, so good… "You see…Things have been feeling a bit…Off? You know?" She nodded at me.

"So, I was trying to figure out what it was!" I threw myself back onto the grass, I didn't want to see her face as I destroyed her, "I mean… Esme has been a little odd, everyone is… I don't know, almost _tense_ when everyone else was around… And so I started to wonder _why_… Because, obviously, they aren't like this all the time. So then I got to thinking, and I figured it out!" I got up trying to look excited, "I figure out what it was! It was _you_…"

No going back now.

I plunged in deep.

I watched as her face fell, as I completely ruined her ideals…

Her face held a variety of emotions, but the most prominent one was acceptance, oddly enough. Like she _saw_ this coming… And was bracing herself for the worse. I felt horrible, but plunged the knife deeper.

"Don't worry, Bella… I mean, you shouldn't have ruined the family _that_ much… I mean, everyone's just getting used to you… Alice and Jasper caused this too when they came…" I said, patting her hand a little bit, then my face fell and became thoughtful, "Though…" I muttered to herself, "They only took a _week_ to get used to… Not 2 months…

"It's probably because Jasper and Alice belonged, and weren't sent here as an experiment to their other families…"

I looked over at her.

It was then that I fully realised what I was doing.

That I fully realised how much I was beating down her feelings…

"Oh, Bella! I'm so, so, so sorry!!! I really didn't mean that!! I was just thinking aloud!!!" I rushed on, "No, no, Bella! I didn't mean it like that! Of course the Denali clan loves you! They just wanted you to feel like you could associate with people slightly more your age… It has nothing to do with _them_!!!

"Oh, Gosh…" I cried, trying to make it look good. I tried to convince myself, "I feel so bad…"

"Rosalie, it's not your fault…" She stated in a dead sounding voice.

"Really?"

"Yes," She gave me a mechanical smile, "Now, can you please leave? I just want to be alone…"

I nodded and ran away, trying to rid myself of this guilty feeling. I had nothing to feel guilty about, nothing to feel guilty about… I tried to repeat over and over again in my head.

It was then that I realised something.

Something important that I had forgotten.

Two important things I had forgotten.

One, Bella loved Edward back… And I had just destroyed their relationship…

And two, the most horrifying of all… That I had only remembered now…

Bella had abandonment issues.

Kate and Irina had told me in great detail how long it had taken them to convince Bella they loved her and were her family, making her feel at home…

How Bella couldn't be left alone for 15 minutes for the first week that she lived with them… That Bella believed that no one really loved her, and that she didn't remember her human life, so she tried to cling to her new vampire families all the more…

Oh, God…

What had I just done?

_I think that was reasonably competent…. OK. I think I may want a Beta… It would really help me with the whole thing called the 'editing process'… AKA, I only check over my stuff uno times and the spit it out. I might be accidentally missing valuable, valuable crap in here, and I don't even notice it. So if you desperately want to Beta or something, PM me. I would preferably like someone who also stalks the Lexicon and therefore catches my inaccuracies… And it would also hep to keep my little dudes in character._

_Oh, and mrs. cullen22, don't worry. We wont yell in a CROWDED theatre… We like to go late at night, or during the down times. We like to narrate movies, so we go in the down times. We'll scream that out when its just the two of us plus posse. It'll be fun!! And don't worry… We might not even go to see the movie. Alice and Jasper are my last hopes… I'm trying (trying being the key word here, dearies) to accept this movie… It's diffcult. Really really difficult… So don't be 'specting me to be all gung ho! about it. I will rant, most likely violently, so just try and ignore it movie lovers._

_OK. Long author's note over!!! _

_I'll update (hopefully) soon!!_

_A BEIN TOT MON PETIE BLOOD MUFFINS (lmaoooo….. I love Liam Sullivan…)!!!_

_Xxoo_

_--Smurf_


	20. Umm

Ok, people. Here's how its gonna go down….

I have this mental condition, its called _writer's block_. I don't like it, but the doctor's say I'll be fine…..

So, after sitting here staring at the computer screen and like 5 different fruitless attempts to write a new chapter, I have come to a conclusion….

_Bella and Edward got together wayyyyyy, wayyyy, wayyyy to early. By like, 5 chapters or so._

So, were my options:

1) Continue to stare at my computer desperately hoping that a new idea would come to me to fix this horrid problem while new reviews were coming in either saying (in a kind, motherly way) "Update soon!" or "Is this story over…?"

2) Do nothing.

3) Re-write the story.

4) Take this sucka downnnnnn.

So, after careful guilty/sleepless nights, I have come to this conclusion…..

I am going to do a combination of 3 and 4. 1) would take wayyyy too long. The fountain of ideas has dried up, if I don't fix the cancerous problem of Bella and Edward's make-out scene bad timing, then no new ideas will come up-eth.

2), I don't really think all of you guys would really like that one. I don't either, I mean, as much as I want to shoot this story, I still have a bushel of ideas to work with, and I want to write them out.

Sooooooooo……………….

This is what I'm gonna do, my poppits. I am going to take down my dumbly named _Evening Stars_. I will re-write the chapters (aka, the first 10 or so, which I have no issues with, FYI, will pretty much be exactly the same… just with lots more details and deleted scenes and crap….) Pretty much until Bella gets to Forks will be the same. Just cooler, and more descriptive. This stuff should be up later tonight.

However….

The shit that goes down AFTER Bella get to Forks, will be mucho better. Sooo, Bella and Edward will not get together in like the 2nd chapter… there will be more detail. And I can give myself to better fine tune the ideas I got for the 'dramatic conclusion'.

Sorry guys… I feel really, really guilty. Like INSANELY IN THE MEMBRANE guilty. But, I will continue the story. Just under a different name. And with better ideas and a more well-flowing plot line. This story has soo many issues (you might not see them, but I totally do…) its not funny….

On a lighter note: Please give me ideas for a new title. I HATE this title. I think I was probably high on air when I picked it.

Sorry, sorry….. New story up tonight. And it will be better. And it will tell you that it's the remake of shudder _Evening Stars_. (seriously, it sounds like a bad romance novel….)

A very self-disappointed Smurf


End file.
